Nancy Demary

Fields of the Fatherless

Published on June 17, 2018October 31, 2020 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Today is Father’s Day. A time to celebrate and think of the many blessings a father provides to his family, especially his children. But it is often a difficult day for those whose fathers have failed them.

BOUNDARIES

Remove not the boundary (landmark); and do not enter into the fields of the fatherless: For their redeemer is mighty; he shall plead their cause with thee. (Prov. 23:10-11)

God has placed boundaries everywhere for our peace and safety. He provides guidance so that we may choose to live fruitful and joyful lives. Harmony in relationship with Him as our Father and one another is His plan. Family is His design, and it’s beautiful.

TOUCH

I couldn’t help but think about those who are having a hard time “celebrating” their father today. As my pastor was speaking about the value of people, he listed the ways we can value people, sharing a point about how important touch is. He illustrated the importance of babies receiving touch and how they thrive. He very specifically emphasized appropriate compared to inappropriate touch. The message was from Luke 13:10-17 how Jesus touched a woman with a spirit of infirmity and healed her. Jesus touched many women appropriately. Think about Mary washing his feet with her hair and the precious ointment she rubbed on his feet; he was receiving her genuine love and appreciation for Him; at a Pharisee’s house no less. Instead of pushing her away to save his reputation, He allowed her to touch him, appropriately, and He healed her soul. You can always reach out to Him!

Fathers who have physically abused, and/or touched their children inappropriately, have placed a stumbling block in their way. Jesus talks about offenses in Luke chapter 17. He said they will come. But then in verse 2 He goes on to say that if someone offends (violates) a child, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea, rather than causing a child to stumble. Wow, that is severe! The violation of a child through sexual molestation is severe. It does not slide into the category of forgive and forget. It requires diligent effort on the part of the perpetrator to work toward godly sorrow that brings repentance.

FLEE!

Paul tells us in I Corinthians 6:18, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” He is warning us about something significant here. Additionally, we are warned that fornicators (sexual activity outside of marriage) shall not inherit the Kingdom of God. Anyone engaging in sexual behavior beyond God’s permitted boundaries is playing with fire, in more ways than one. The sins we commit against ourselves through sexual immorality are devastating. We may not see it immediately, but the fallout will eventually come. We are warned numerous times to flee; get away from it. And incestuous sin often carries from one generation to the next [1], UNTIL someone decides to break the chain.

Sexual sin is the most devastating sin a family can suffer. It is manifest in many ways; and so many are suffering in our day. We are truly reaping the consequences of sexual freedom in our culture where little seems wrong anymore. I can remember back in the 80’s when a Christian radio commentator spoke about NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Love Association), we were appalled and could hardly believe it. Today there is still some semblance of community standards concerning this, but sexual sin has so overtaken the idolatrous hearts of men and women that we find many within the church struggling to understand the confusion and overcome sexual immorality. Remember, Satan is set against mankind to do one thing, to kill, steal and destroy. Jesus told us this in John 10:10 and that is why He offers us abundant overcoming life. It’s this Zoë life that empowers us to walk victoriously; Holy Spirit empowered life! So we are left to choose.

CHANGE

Wherever you may find yourself today, choose His life! Whether you are living in guilt because you have been violated as a “little one” and that sent you down a dark road of sexual temptation, know that you can recover. The bad dreams can end. The proclivity toward sexual fulfillment, outside of God’s boundaries, can be turned around. Recognize that the patterns you are shamefully finding yourself in can change. There is always hope in Christ, the divine Savior! The all-powerful God of heaven and earth offers you the power to overcome anything by the indwelling divine Holy Spirit! God’s Word is sharp and powerful and able to discern the thoughts and intents of your heart. And He offers you His Word as a solution to your heart problems. If you will dwell there, think upon Truth and believe it, you can change the way you think, act and feel. It’s His remedy. Seek out biblical counsel so you can be made new and become the victor that God designed you to be.

Remember, you may have been a victim, but you can choose today to walk toward a victorious life. God will take all of your dark places and bring light. He will give you the ability to walk in the light (I John 1:7). There is no better place to be.

YOU HAVE A GOOD FATHER

I pray that you will recognize that you do have a Heavenly Father who is faithful and does not desire you harm in anyway. He is the One who takes ALL things and can turn them around for His purposes (Romans 8:28). God wants to be glorified in your life. There is no greater joy than to walk in a way that brings glory to Him. Will you take the steps to begin walking in this way? Focus on thanking Him for what you can now, it will grow and you will become a rejoicing Christian, glorifying God and turning what Satan meant to destroy you with into a weapon formed against Him instead.[2]

Sins against you may have propelled you into the fatherless fields, along with countless others. But remember, you have a home and you have a Good, Good Father, never forget that.

[1] The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but he will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and the fourth generation. Numbers 14:18 (ESV)

[2] Isaiah 54:14 In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near you. 15 If anyone stirs up strife, it is not from me; whoever stirs up strife with you shall fall because of you. 16 Behold, I have created the smith who blows the fire of coals and produces a weapon for its purpose. I have also created the ravager to destroy; 17 no weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”

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Freedom from Habitual Sin

Published on April 30, 2018April 29, 2026 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Addiction is rampant in our society. In biblical terms, we would describe this as bondage to an idol in the heart. Something that has been given a place and taken hold in the person’s life to where they feel helpless to become free. Some thing or person has been chosen over God to fill the void or remove some hidden pain in their soul.

The good news is that through Jesus Christ there is freedom from destructive habits.

Freedom involves work and dedication to the process, but it is guaranteed to the ones who will humble themselves, repent with godly sorrow, and hate the sin that binds them.

Sexual Idolatry is a major problem today. Unlike drug or alcohol addiction, this habitual sin can be masked for a period of time while secretly doing it’s work of changing one’s brain. Usually, by the time it is discovered, great harm has come to the individual, marriage, and family. Destructive consequences will follow, but there is hope.

With the growth of the internet, the porn epidemic has become a tsunami ravaging our world.

Pornography + Masturbation = Tragedy. Sexual abuse, pedophilia, sodomy, bestiality, human trafficking, and all sexual lust brings Satan delight in his mission to steal, kill and destroy God’s creation (John 10:10).

Because of our Father’s great love toward us, He desires to redeem each one. His desire involves abundant life that comes from a right relationship with Him through repentance and correction steps to restore wholeness within.

II Cor. 7:11 indicators of Godly Sorrow:

Eagerness and earnest care to explain what you did, even though you may not understand why.
To clear yourself of the wrongdoing and follow-up with proper actions.
To hate the sin that you were involved in.
To have alarm and fear about the seriousness of sin.
A yearning and desire to live for God instead of your own pleasure.
Zeal to make things right. To correct all injustice.
A readiness to embrace the consequences and make corrections.

Understanding the physiological changes that result from habitual porn hits to the brain is helpful in gaining freedom. When dopamine, and other hormones are used for sinful pleasure, the consequences are awful. As you learn how this works, you can gain hope and practical help. Those who’ve struggled for years to be released from the bondage of porn find a pathway out.

Please see my Resources page for insights and wisdom.

LINKS to help (or go to RESOURCES Tab for additional links)

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Freedom Living!

Published on March 30, 2018January 26, 2019 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Sad, discouraged, depressed? Angry when things don’t go your way? Many go through life wondering why their life seems discouraging while others seem happy. There are various reasons for this, and I will tell you that it is not God’s will for you to be bound by these feelings, but rather to find your hope in Him.

It Helps to Take Inventory

If you are struggling with these feelings, let’s look at some foundational factors. Is there something you are desiring that seems illusive? Do you feel obsessed with reaching a goal or attaining some status? Perhaps it’s a particular item you feel would bring you happiness; a certain job, marriage, a house. When you sense that someone is interfering with your plans for success, do you become agitated or angry with them? — a boss, co-worker, neighbor, parent, spouse, or child. If so, here’s a good weekly exercise: take a note-card and whenever you feel this happening, write it down so you can review it later. Allow yourself to notice how often this happens during the day and over the week. You will see a pattern develop that will prove helpful. What factors cause you to experience these agitated or anxious thoughts? We’ll come back to this later.

The Self-life

Our natural man, the way we are all born into this world as sinners, desires for things to go our way. From childhood our brains are wired to come out on top. Unless our parents understand God’s ways and are able to put great effort into training us to think differently, we often end up having to recognize and deal with this ME principle the hard way. God uses difficulties to attempt to teach us to give up the self-life and go with His-life instead — this is the way He designed us to function successfully .

Freedom in Christ!

Discovering the place of living for God’s glory, takes us out of this lower position of serving ourselves and exchanges our desires for His plans and purpose for us — this is freedom living. Instead of living according to our natural bent to sin; our self-serving nature, we become free to live for God’s glory. The beginning point to this position is known as being born-again by God’s grace extended to us. Nothing we’ve earned or deserve, but because of His love (Ephesians 2:8-9). The Holy Spirit then takes up residence within us so that the life of Jesus Christ himself is expressed in us and replaces our self-life (Galatians 2:20). While God gives to each of His created beings personality and unique gifts, His desire is that these are given to be used for His glory. This is where fulfillment, joy and peace are obtained. But this kind of living requires a choice on our part; initially and daily as we walk with Him.

Being Enlightened (Ephesians 1:18-20)

When we surrender our life to God we learn how to adjust our focus away from our personal ambitions, and turn our future over to Him. He desires our best and knows what that is. Once He is given control, He leads us into a life that is pleasing to Him and this is where we find true fulfillment, joy and peace. God’s Word becomes our basic training manual. Much like the retraining of the mind in a military boot-camp, we choose to enlist in a training program that will cause us to think according to God’s principles. The military teaches its recruits how to serve for the purpose of war or peace-keeping; in similar fashion we who belong to God’s kingdom are taught how to love and protect whether we are in the midst of difficulty or not. We are here to in order to promote God’s agenda and purpose in our world (Matthew 5:43-44).

Many of us have given ourselves to much learning in various areas of life, yet so few give the necessary time and interest to learning theology and allowing God’s Word to retrain our thoughts. Yet this is what leads us down the road to sanctification and satisfaction in life.

The Word of God tells us that it alone can reveal our true problems and teach us what to do in response to them. “For the word of God is living, and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and quick to discern the thoughts and intents of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12 ASV) It is only after we are able to see our intents for what they are, that we can choose to deal with them. Until then we are blinded and our own desires deceive us. We need the power of God’s words to change us. By the new birth experience, receiving the Holy Spirit to take up residence inside of us, we gain the ability to live for God. We then are able to put off the natural man, our old nature, and put on the new thoughts, words and actions of Christ. Once we experience this transformation we truly become new creations.

My Way vs. God’s Glory

Now back to the exercise. Any one who completes the written exercise I mentioned earlier should come to the conclusion that our self-life is the core issue to be dealt with. This diary of events helps us see that when we face frustration, it’s often because we want things to go our way, we want to receive the praise, status and comforts we feel we deserve.

Under the curse of sin, we are all born destined for destruction and eternal hell apart from God’s redemptive answer. Understanding this is crucial to living a life of peace with God and in freedom to glorify Him in all we do. Apart from this mindset, we will believe we deserve to be glorified, praised and exalted. We will come up short when it comes to happiness because it will be based upon the praise of people, rather than the satisfaction of knowing we are living for God. Unless Jesus Christ becomes King of our heart, idols will take their natural place leading us to self-destruction.

Victory lies in Glorifying God

When we remember Christ’s resurrection over death, hell, and the grave, let’s consider why He suffered and died. He came to give us abundant life in Him and defeat the enemy of our soul (John 10:10). He came to give us power, by the indwelling Holy Spirit, to overcome sin and ourselves! He was raised to life again and lives to intercede for us in order to gain success in freedom-living. Let us choose to surrender completely to His will and glorify God in our bodies. The choice is ours.

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Free-fall

Published on March 17, 2018March 4, 2019 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Fear is what kept me from jumping out of the airplane that day. They call it free-fall — jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, pulling the rip cord at the right time, relaxing and falling, rather floating, to the ground. There were several candidates signing up for the early morning class and afternoon jump. My friend asked me once more, “Are you sure you don’t want to do it?” I was sure. “No, thanks, it’s kind of you to offer but it’s not for me,” I said.

When we are in free-fall with God, we step out in faith based upon God’s Word, and simply trust our Heavenly Father – daily, hourly, minute-by-minute sometimes, knowing that He will carry us in His everlasting arms. Picture the God of Heaven and Earth, our Father who created everything, with His Hands underneath, often just a few feet below ready to keep us from destruction. It’s like the new toddler going around the room with coaxing parents wanting the child to launch out on a few steps without assistance; and they are there to catch them when they wobble. God knows when we need to wobble, and be reminded that He is there.

Fear

Fear kept me from jumping; learning to trust is a process. Fear is often normal and a natural part of stepping into a new area we are looking to explore. God gave us the ability to fear those things we should, but He also desires for us to trust Him in the areas He says we should.

The Word of God calls us “little children”[1] for a reason. This faith walk requires a transfer from what we have known and trusted in for most of our lives, to adjust to the new walk that requires trusting in Him alone at times. That’s big and takes time to retrain our minds and hearts to this; but as we practice trusting, we learn that He is faithful to us.

In order to be relieved of the fear of the unknown, to free-fall into His arms, we must rely upon His Word to teach us who He is.

Faith

The Bible says that faith comes to us through hearing/reading the Word of God (Rom. 10:17). We cannot see the future, but we can trust our Heavenly Father to hold us. When you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you too become His precious child. Can you believe this? He is aware of all that has happened in your life and He wants you to know that He will never harm you. You can free-fall into His arms and He gives us the Holy Spirit to live within us, assuring us of His constant care.

Allow God’s Word to give you guidance into His absolute care. Discover that He is different from all others. No one can possibly love you as He does.

The Finish line:

With free-fall, there’s a sense in which once adapted to the parachute, air pressure, and the ability to control the descent, the journey down becomes so enjoyable that many do it again. If the jump is done under duress, in fear, there will be no desire to repeat this experience. But for those who trust and follow the guidelines, stepping out of the plane actually becomes a joy; the thrill of the ride back down to earth — it captivates some.

With God, our Good Father, we can learn to embrace free-falling into His arms and become strengthened through it. It is the practice of placing our faith in Him to bring us to safety. Will you step out and believe that He wants to expand your abilities to trust Him? Free-falling while He holds you can become a way of life that brings Him joy as a Father, and gives you delight knowing He cares for you.

One day we will land safely home at our final destination, Heaven, and realize the journey was short after all. So, practice obedience, trust Him and free-fall — and enjoy the abundant life that God desires to lead you in[2]. Go for it!

[1] My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. IJohn 3:18 (NKJV)

[2] The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10 (KJV)

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Our Real Enemy

Published on March 9, 2018May 25, 2023 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

ALL Christians face spiritual warfare. Some may not be aware of who actually is opposing them, and they end up taking offense and despising the people they ought to love. If we are not wise and equipped with minds renewed daily upon God’s Word we are easy prey to our enemy’s schemes and will believe that people are our enemy. In reality, all of humankind is under the sway of this masterful deceiver[1] in some way. Satan’s purpose is ONLY to steal, kill and destroy you[2].

What are your first thoughts when you wake up in the morning and there’s darkness present? Perhaps a bad dream resulting from the past. Where do you think these dark feelings come from? Certainly not from your loving Father who said He would cast our forgiven sins far from us and not bring them before us again. Of course, it would be from the oppressor, the enemy, who would like to rob you of the abundant life that Jesus promises to His own.

Be sure that when you are encountering these dark moments of fear, discouragement, shame or confusion, all of this is rooted in the strategy of Satan to cause you to doubt God and live in unbelief. Recognizing this and then going to God’s Word to renew your mind, and strengthen your soul, is the proper response. What did Paul tell us we should do daily in order to equip ourselves for these attacks? Ephesians 6:11-12 “Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places”. Go on to read and study verses 14-17 to learn what the armor of God is.

When I consider how much training goes into equipping the military for earthy battles, let us consider the daily onslaught from hell that we face — it is very real. We need to be equipped and ready to recognize the battle we are in. We need to be careful not to involve ourselves in unnecessary skirmishes to the neglect of the real spiritual battle we’re in. We can be sidetracked fighting temporal situations and people, instead of the one God has declared to be our real enemy.

I Peter 5:8-9 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour: whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

Prayer is the needful, consistent, daily exchange between us and our Father. He desires to guide us and glorify Himself through us. To be useful in His Kingdom and overcome our enemy, we must communicate and hear from God, our Chief and Commander. A good soldier heeds what He says and does it. We must equip ourselves with spiritual armor (Eph. 6:10-18) against this enemy; remember he is a subtle deceiver, not easy to recognize. Our victory against Satan is firmly planted in Christ’s victory over death, hell, and the grave at Calvary; Christ earned this position for us and He is greater than our foe.

A song written by Martin Luther about 500 years ago, A Mighty Fortress is Our God, describes this battle. Here is verse one of this hymn. Powerful songs like this have kept believers strong in faith and action. May we recognize the enemy’s craft and respond in the power of the Holy Spirit.

A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing; our helper he amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing.
For still our ancient foe doth seek to work us woe; his craft and power are great, and armed with cruel hate, on earth is not his equal.

[1] 2 Corinthians 4:3-4 But if our gospel be hidden, it is hidden to them that are lost: In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

[2] John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I have come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly.

May you RECOGNIZE your real enemy and RESPOND according to the Instruction Manual.

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