Nancy Demary

Freedom from Bitterness

Published on October 4, 2023October 5, 2023 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Bitter roots in our souls destroy us. It takes a willingness to look inside to see where we may have made a “vow” against someone. In order to gain freedom, we must renounce and repent of that attitude and those words in order to free ourselves from our binding past. Demonic forces gain entrance into our souls through the promises we make. Just as Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit come in upon invitation and confession of our sins, these dark spirits gain entrance through our inner vows of hatred for someone. If we proclaim that we hate someone, these enemies of mankind will be sure to act upon our vows and deliver the goods to keep us bound to our promises. Lying spirits help us along in keeping unholy vows.

Has someone hurt you? Have you vowed to get them back in some way? This is not a wise way to handle hurt and offense. Instead, why not choose freedom? To do so, you will need to repent and renounce the vow you’ve made. When you free yourself in this way, you open the doors to God’s healing of your soul and invite His power to come in. The Holy Spirit is the One who heals and empowers us to walk in a new and holy way, allowing us to love God and others above our natural ability.

Next, find a trusted friend or counselor to talk to about this. Seal your confession and begin solidifying your freedom with God’s Word and good counsel. Allow someone to come alongside you and guide you in your new attitude. Your heart will feel lighter and you will be able to love again.

“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled” (Hebrews 12:15).

Here are five helpful steps in walking toward freedom:

1) RECOGNIZE that someone has caused you pain and that your response to their sin, or your perception of an offense, will either free you or bind you.

2) RETURN to God if you have allowed the sin of another to cause your relationship with your Heavenly Father to falter. This will involve repenting of anything you have done to distance yourself from Him. You may have been a victim of sin initially, but at some point, you become a perpetrator if you feel you must take vengeance rather than allow God to deal with the individual. Victims can turn into violators if unforgiveness festers.

3) READ God’s Word daily so when temptation comes to react to situations, especially those that involve past pain, you can be freshly reminded of God’s promises to help you overcome wrong feelings. The Holy Spirit renews our minds as we submit to His Word and gives us a new outlook on our situation.

4) REJOICE in the reality that God is faithful to you no matter what you have experienced. He knows the depth of pain you have gone through. Jesus put Himself through the dregs of sins and every imaginable offense so that we would have the opportunity to forgive and be free.

5) REMIND yourself daily that because Christ has forgiven you, you must also forgive others (Col.3:13). Praying for the person who has wronged you helps to develop love in your heart toward them. It’s not because they asked for or deserve forgiveness, rather you’re extending grace to them, as Christ has done for us.

REMEMBER: Think->Do->Feel. Do not let feelings lead you, but God’s Word instead.

Overcoming the Pain of the Past

Published on October 1, 2023October 4, 2023 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Everyone has experienced the pain of hurt in relationships. There is a common expression we hear that says that these experiences will cause us to become bitter or better; it’s true. It takes effort to deal with the wounds or hurts, we have suffered and come out better afterwards. The journey can be long for some; it often depends on the soul care you receive along the way, as well as the openness of your heart to surrender to the Father’s will for you. I know that it is difficult for some because of past experience, and loss of trust, but God is faithful. Are you willing to trust Him to help you?

Here are three common ways that people tend to deal with emotional pain in their lives.

1) We can Internalize

When we take in pain and repress what we feel from another’s actions toward us, it will inevitably produce bitterness within our hearts. These stored up feelings inside the reservoir of our heart (our soul) build up and will at some point explode. No person can contain the growing, ever-increasing, and changing life that hurt harbored will produce. Bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness will break us down emotionally and physically.

Because of God’s love for us, He will not allow this to continue forever. He will bring situations to us that will press upon this sore spot in order for us to decide to deal with it. Many attempts to cover the wound with poor remedies will only produce various addictions — habitually applying poor solutions to our pain. God offers a solution, a way out; it involves humility and forgiveness, a better way than internalizing pain.

2) We can retaliate

Here we consider who wronged us and the price we will exact from them for the hurt they caused. Retaliation is a vicious circle of pain and misery. No matter how much is hurled back at the offender or others by proxy, it will never satisfy. Eventually, those who choose retaliation as their method of dealing with pain, turn into offenders themselves. They become like the very one whom they have despised so fiercely.

3) We can Forgive

Forgiveness is the only successful way to overcome hurt in our lives. It requires our choosing to do so. Extending forgiveness is painful, but this kind of pain reaps many benefits for everyone involved. It will cost you everything it seems, to forgive but it really involves letting go the the vows you’ve made against someone.

The possibility of true and lasting forgiveness exists for those who have come to know the forgiveness God has offered to us. Those who follow Christ, our supreme example, are given the power by the indwelling work of the Holy Spirit to forgive others. While this may seem impossible initially, with God’s help, and perhaps that of godly counselors, we can find this place of release from our past. Jesus is our greatest example of one who forgave (Luke 23:34[1]).

It is an act of your will to forgive. When you move in the process of saying, “I can’t” to opening the door of possibility to realizing, “I won’t”, you will begin your journey to being able to consider what God may be doing through your pain. You can arrive at the place of, “I will” and open your heart to God.

By forgiving we release the offender into God’s Hands (and possibly civil authorities) for justice to be served and consequences to be walked through. God is the only One who can rightly deal with any of us. He is the rightful authority over all of life; each life was created by Him. He has set in order by His Word (the Bible) how we are to handle the situations we face, and we are responsible for dealing with ourselves and allowing God to deal with others as He sees fit.

Fear can keep us from forgiving based on false assumptions. We can fear that if we forgive we have to return to an abusive situation. Or that we must reconcile with an unchanged person; that would be impossible as reconciliation takes two people. This journey involves steps; please do not let fear keep you from taking the first step. God will be faithful to you, as He has been to me and many others, but you must trust Him.

It costs us something to surrender in this way, but it is the only way to lasting freedom. Do it for yourself first and eventually, you will also find joy in giving your gift to others. God can give you great hope and purpose, and use you as an instrument of His love to others, even your enemies.

[1] Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do…

Photo Credit: Pixabay, Google Images

Grief

Published on July 7, 2021 by Nancy Demary1 Comment

Nancy Demary

waiting Grief of soul demonstrates the great value someone has placed upon a person, place or thing.

Anyone who has passed through the dark valley of grief knows what a painful trek it is. Death, divorce or some major loss brings us to this difficult journey. Whether the event was expected or not, it requires diligence to come out on the other side with a healthy sense of acceptance and closure.

Moving God into the center of your world is important during this process. Perhaps He has been a small piece of your pie and grief has brought you to a place of desperation, asking “How will I get through this?” I believe that unless we place God largely in the center of our circle, we will have deleterious ramifications from the loss we’ve suffered.

Sometimes we realize through our grief that we had placed too much hope or…

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Sheer Madness – Losing Our Common Sense Along the Way

Published on June 5, 2021April 5, 2024 by Nancy Demary2 Comments

Have you lost your mind! was the phrase we heard when I was young in response to someone’s expression of a socially unacceptable thought. That would not be a common response today to anyone who may be thinking quite differently than you. Why? Because our whole culture has turned upside-down, it does feel like people have lost their minds. Someone from 50 years ago stepping into our world would think it sheer madness at what is being promoted in society today. What has happened?

Are these terms familiar to you? Intersex, Androgyne, Gender expression, Gender identity, Gender non-conforming, Cross-sexual, Unisexual, Transgender, Bisexual.

Gender Confusion

Abigail Shrier, a well-known American journalist, brought to the forefront through her 2020 book, Irreversible Damage, information about the large number of teenage girls who claim to have gender dysphoria and would like to “transition” to become boys. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for the parents of these girls. This, along with the larger circle of sexual confusion as it relates to gender, makes me think that we have lost our minds. Abigal Shrier speaking on Irreversible Damage

It is sheer madness to think that one can change their gender. Someone can attempt to change their physical bodies to appear like the opposite sex, but that is far different from changing who God created them to be when He formed them in the womb.

Her book may interest you to gain an understanding of how this unusual desire is being propagated in our culture, schools, and universities. Our culture has “canceled” those who oppose these views and if you speak out against these new phenomena, you will be ostracized for it.

Let’s think this through…

We now have teenagers, and younger, being told they can decide what gender they’d like to be. If they “feel” like they have the wrong body, they now are affirmed in this and are encouraged to choose to change their sex.

Much like the birthing of the abortion movement, 50 years ago, the same characters are present. A group of people pushing an agenda of my-body-my-right, onto a culture that has lost its moorings concerning common sense. When we see this manifestation of “choice” we see those who will not acknowledge God as our creator. Instead, they shake their fists in His face and tell him, “We will decide”.

Common Sense

Whatever happened to it? Our senses are so important to functioning well. Recently, I had Covid. I’m thankful that I did not lose my sense of taste and smell, but have friends who did and told me about it. When we are missing one of our senses we are off balance and could end up getting burned, or worse. When common sense is skewed by the influences around us, we can accept as normal something that is very abhorrent and not realize it. Many young people are being swept up in this gender confusion simply because they are taught that it is normal.

Wisdom vs. Foolishness

In Proverbs 1:7 we are told that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. The only way to recover a mind that is tracking down this slippery slope is to turn to God and allow him to renew the mind. His transformative power gives one the ability to change their mind from foolishness to wisdom.

A Pandemic of Sinful Thinking

The foolishness of previous generations has so multiplied that we truly are facing a pandemic of sinful thinking, especially as it pertains to sexuality. It’s not only the younger generation who have lost their way.

I could hardly believe what I was hearing on a popular YouTube channel as this “ministry” couple, about 40 years old, were talking about sex within marriage. (The “parent” ministry of this “child” ministry was someone I had respected for their teaching on marriage). After listening for some time, I realized that they were promoting hedonism under the guise of the marriage covenant. They seem to believe that as long as a Christian is married, there is no shame in the sexual games they play. Using the thought that the marriage bed is undefiled (Hebrews 13:4) and lifting it out of context, they seemed to interpret it to mean anything goes. It was disgraceful to listen to their discussion. With the influence of pornography upon our culture, minds within the “church” have also lost their senses.

Marriage brings two together as one: body, soul, and spirit. Intimacy in sexual union brings a husband and wife face-to-face, looking into the soul of the other. The hormones God created within our bodies are used for bonding; primarily oxytocin in women and vasopressin in men, and are a wonderful gift. Yet, when these powerful hormones are used wrongly, they will become the curse that scripture warns about.

Married couples must evaluate their physical intimacy in light of scripture. If your activity is reminiscent of animals, look out! Many couples have no idea what sexual habituation to pornography does to the brain. Please educate yourself and be careful not to follow the world’s practices and lose out on what God has designed for you.

Go back to the original pattern and recognize that God created who we are, our gender, and He desires for us to find our identity in Him. He has designed a man and woman to be fulfilled sexually within the covenant of marriage, without the influence of porn-induced minds. Common sense tells us how He designed us to come together sexually. The confusion in our culture today concerning sexuality will not end. So, we must learn how to interact and reach out to those struggling with these principles.

For practical help in understanding gender confusion and how to respond see: https://restoryministries.org/

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Photo Credit: Google Images

My Mother’s Day with Covid

Published on May 12, 2021November 1, 2021 by Nancy Demary2 Comments

This was a most unusual Mother’s Day for me. About four days previous, I caught Covid. During the night on Saturday, I felt achy and awoke to a beautiful Mother’s Day morning with pain in all my joints! Yes, Covid came and claimed my body. Even though it was a celebrated day on my calendar, I didn’t have the usual delights of that day to enjoy, yet I experienced God’s love in a beautiful way.

I notified a few friends of my situation and they moved into action. Offering love and prayer, Ivermectin and vitamins for my covid protocol, food, anything I wanted! Indeed, with God’s grace through prayer and the proper treatment that I adhered to, everything worked out very well for me. Even with me being immuno-compromised with leukopenia, the abundance of prayers and comfort care went a long way in keeping me secure as I traveled through the first and second trying days. This is my 4th day now, and I feel so blessed to be on the other side of that and strong enough to think and write!

Day 1 and 2 were the worse for me. Extreme body pain everywhere: bones, joints, and muscles… I felt like an injured snake writhing in pain without relief. No escape, even with strong pain meds. But, when I awoke yesterday, I knew it took a turn! I slept almost all day, resting my wrecked body. Upon waking today, I knew I was climbing out of it. Praise God!

I am so thankful for the wonderful friends who cared for me. My neighbor, Gaby, who offered to pick up anything I needed: bought some vitamins I needed and baked and shared with me a wonderful homemade dessert last night. My friend, Doris, one of the best cooks I know, made some mean spicy-flu-chasing-chicken-soup that tasted so good yesterday, and today. And thank you, Bill, as always, for delivering Doris’ remedies, even while sick yourself. And my dear friend, Cathy, who early on help me get my protocol in place and ran over the final ingredient I was lacking at 10 pm on Sunday night! And to the many other gals who texted me asking what they could do or bring. Thank you all so much! You are a beautiful family.

Once again, I have lived through the reality of having a family of Christ-followers to come alongside me in my need to demonstrate the love of God beautifully. Galatians 1:1-10 talks about bearing one another’s burdens and fulfilling the law of Christ, and that is exactly what my sweet friends and church family at Greater Grace Community Church did for me! Your gifts of prayer, supplies, food, and abundance of love carried me through a couple of painful days.

That is my testimony on how something as rotten, painful, and destructive as Covid, could be turned into a blessing in my life, demonstrating God’s goodness amid some limited suffering. It is wonderful to be part of the Family of God. I have brothers and sisters who will, in Jesus’ place, go with me all the way. And I am ever grateful.

Photo Credit: elizabethbruders.com