Heart – Page 5 – Nancy Demary

Aspire to Inspire: Grand-Parenting Tips

Published on May 31, 2019December 25, 2021 by Nancy Demary1 Comment

Grandchildren are the crown of the aged and the glory of children is their fathers. Prov. 17:6 (ESV). Life is Beautiful is one of my favorite movies. The setting is WWII Europe, this story is based upon a true account of a father’s protection of his son while incarcerated in one of Hitler’s death camps. It demonstrates a parent’s creative wisdom used to protect his child from harm. I admire the fortitude and inspiration of this father.

Parenting is one of the most important tasks in life, asking for God’s guidance and wisdom daily is crucial. Additionally, for extended family members — aunts, uncles, grandparents, and siblings, there is much for us to consider as we interact within a family structure. In the next message–Stay in Your Lane (part 2) I’ll explain why.

We do well to understand the “of age” stages children go through. As I see it now, parenting contains three stages generally: Control, Motivation, and Inspiration. If the goal throughout each stage is to glorify God by obeying His teachings, we will succeed even with our failures along the way. Parenting is used by God to gain humility in our lives and a bountiful path for our children’s feet. Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalms 119:105 (ESV)

In the beginning…

CONTROL is the beginning stage. When we look at NASA sending John Glenn to the moon, we realize that without a Control Center, success would not have been achieved. They needed calculated thinking from the brightest math, technology, and engineering minds to reach their goal; parenting involves Control Center principles as well. So let’s view it in this sense for the purpose of this writing. During these early years, parents are the critical thinkers, responsible for godly algorithms that produce success rather than sending their child into a trajectory of poor choices, confusion, and the resulting consequences. Children need controlled guidance in gaining contentment and security in their family. A loving family where the parents give vision, provide stability and take responsibility for decisions is a good foundation to build upon.

Next…

The MOTIVATION stage involves encouragement in the right direction, choices and decision making, requiring good management skills by the parents. This still involves some pulling upward toward a goal and some pushing into the correct lane. Rewarding good behavior is involved, as well as consequences for disobedience. Positive motivation is best. When we assume this position we focus upon the good things we see that can be further developed, rather than what is lacking.

The final stage is the most rewarding; both for us as parents and for God as our Heavenly Father. At this next stage, God is able to pour His creative passion into us as His children.

INSPIRATION is when you take your hands off, knowing you’ve done your job and the rest lay with your child’s individual choices. Our job is to pray, live an inspiring life ourselves, and entrust them to our good Heavenly Father. The level of investment parents give in the formative years, will influence the level of inspiration our children will be able to receive from us and live out for themselves.

Thankfully, it’s not all on us. Our Heavenly Father who created them, designed their personality, and gave them to us for a season – He has them! Like a tender plant, we were given guardianship for a season of watering and even if you have not always watered well, He can still cause growth and life. Why? Because His purpose and desire for each of our children are beyond our capacity to understand. He will work with them, and in the end, they alone will decide to pursue Him, or not. Ultimately, the decisions they make will determine their outcome. I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live... Deuteronomy 30:19 (ESV)

MOTIVATION differs from INSPIRATION.
Enjoy your life with God and BE an inspiration to others. The INSPIRATION stage comes when your children have come of age and you can now rejoice in the fact that you’ve done your part; let God their Father have full CONTROL.

In the movie, Life is Beautiful, the son lost his father in the death-camp but he gained a legacy. He would always remember a father who inspired him to dream that they were building a tank and that they could win the prize.

Think about how you can inspire those around you toward godly living and the potential God has for them. We are not doomed to a death-camp, yet there is danger to navigate. Our world of addictive social media alone requires major guidance and skill. Use godly inspiration to teach the next generation how to live, love and reach the goal of serving others. Teach them how to be content with thankfulness, yet creative with what they’ve recieved. Your example of this will go a long way.

Also, we need to self-examine and recognize any manipulating behavior in our lives, and repent of anything thing God reveals so that we can be effective in using teaching moments to build godly character. Aspire to inspire!

Coming next: Stay in Your Own Lane... a note to family members.

Photo Credit: Demary File, Pixabay

Flee Sexual Immorality!

Published on May 19, 2019June 6, 2021 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

I was fearful, afraid to broach the subject, so nervous inside, my stomach filled with acid, my heart pounded and I wondered how I could possibly confront this. I have been through this so many times before; previous attempts at trying to deal with the problem have failed. But what IS the problem?! It’s so elusive; I can’t quite put my finger on it. I’ve been told I’m a bit crazy, suspicious, going overboard… “relax; maybe some medication will help you chill out a bit“. Why try? Avoid– that’s it! I’ll just lay low and pray and hopefully, time will fix all of this. Yes, don’t think you have to do everything. Lots of people have problems… you’re blowing things out of proportion. Remember last time you said something and it turned into a huge war? The kids think I’m going crazy too. What’s wrong with me? Do I have a mental problem? Maybe I am going crazy? Help…

These thoughts are common among those in relationship with someone who has a secret. Secrecy is what keeps sin alive.

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality… Are you lashing out in anger at those around you when asked a question? Are you isolating, turning inward? Using your device (phone) in order to avoid others? Do you see your indifference toward life; toward others? No depth in meaningful conversation, have you become unthankful, unholy, defiled? Have your self-centered lusts blinded you? This warning is written in love for your soul, urging you to flee and become free.

Galatians 5:19-21 (ESV) Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Spouse, parent, child… UNDERSTAND that fits of anger are normal for those who continue to harbor a hidden sinful life. When you press on something that touches the secret of one whose heart has been damaged, get ready for pushback, blame, and skilled manipulation. Some have honed this so well they can intimidate you into thinking they are innocent in the midst of their fits. They want you to back off, acting like you are the cause for their anger. Remember, they are responsible for their anger and steps to healing. Satan loves this drama and scornfully laughs, delighting in the deceptive work of his hands.

IDOLATRY: Someone who continues to indulge in selfish pleasure rather than serving God, and their family, is an idolater. A sexually impure person is covetous. Short of repentance, they will face judgment and reserve their place in hell forever. Think of that; a person who is willing to be forever separated from God and those they love! Why? Because they loved their sin more!

So, what can I do? First, PRAY for someone caught in the web of sexual immorality; ask God to give them godly sorrow (delineated in 2Corinthians 7:9-11) so they will repent. Prayer will also give you spiritual authority to stand strong upon God’s Word while walking through the battlefield you’re in. It will give you the ability to love their soul while hating the sin they’re involved with. Secondly, speak the truth in love, confront with God’s Word (Ephesians 4:15). Don’t coddle sin in any form; sin must be destroyed, completely rooted out and revealed; brought into the light (I John 1:7). Like the serpent it is, the head must be severed allowing the twisting body to die. The only way someone will become free is to hate the sin the way God does.

Ephesians 5:5 (ESV) For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

It is heartbreaking to see families torn apart by sin; it is happening all around us. Whether you’re the one who’s been hiding sin or the betrayed party(s), respond to God. God will avenge all unrighteousness. Rather than hold unforgiveness in your heart, get before God and ask Him to help you, and receive godly counsel on how to walk in forgiveness. It will be a hard road, but worth it. Whether the marriage survives infidelity or not, forgiveness will still be your issue to pursue. Betrayal in any form is painful and will greatly affect you if you do not come to a place of forgiveness and wholeness.

Romans 12:19 (ESV) Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

The Book of Proverbs says that a fool only expresses their own opinion and does not want to listen to wise counsel. In Proverbs, chapters 4-6, there is strong counsel about staying away from situations that will lead to sexual sin. What we allow to enter our hearts, and then ponder, think about and entertain, will determine our actions. That is why we are told to guard our hearts. Proverbs 4:23 (KJV) Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

EDUCATION on SEX:

Masturbation is sin, no matter what your own thinking, school sex-ed class, or a therapist may tell you. Sexual pleasure was created by God for a husband and wife only and within the covenant of marriage. Self-sex will corrupt you in several ways:

1. You are deceived in thinking it’s harmless and you become a deceiver to your spouse by engaging in self-sex. If you are single, you are developing a wrong view of the gift of sexuality, it was not designed for idolatrous self-gratification. For others, they resort to this for self-soothing but find it to be further bondage, entrapping them in their past suffering.

2. Sexual intimacy involves giving; when you’ve trained your mind to be a taker/receiver of pleasure only, this will grow and take you down a very dark path (read below). You’ve changed the purpose of sexual relationship and will pay a great price for that.

3. You betray your spouse by not sharing sexual intimacy with her/him. The hormones God designed for bonding within marriage are crucial to the success of being one; physical and spiritual oneness is the only way to truly know God’s perfect plan. When one party brings a “stranger” into the marriage bed it becomes defiled. “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrews 13:4. You end up “bonding” to the images you watch and you cannot serve two masters. You WILL be mastered by the images unless you renounce and flee from your sin.

4. You become spiritually impotent. Your compromised position will give your enemy (workers of darkness, demons) a foothold in you, forfeiting the authority of God in your life. This impotence will be seen in a lack of biblical leadership and the inability to love your spouse.

5. You’ll become physically impotent. You will need perverse sexual interactions in order to fulfill your lusts. If you are sexually habituated, you have perhaps unknowingly rewired your brain. You’ve addicted yourself to porn and your body no longer functions as God designed it to. (Good news is that you and change the wiring, see RESOURCES)

6. You will reap what you sow. Read Matthew 5:27-30, Hebrews 13:4, Romans 1:26-27, 1Corinthians 6:18.

There is HOPE. God has wonderfully designed us with hormones for sexual relationship, but when taken outside of the boundaries He established, these work against you. This is where sowing & reaping comes to bear. By restructuring the physiological brain, you can either become free or go deeper into destruction. By habitually indulging in pornography, people turn into devils, monsters of iniquity and many do not understand how they got there. God will not be mocked, flee as He warns. God sets captives free. But it takes action on your part.

Sin is incremental by nature, the downward spiral over time takes people to places they never imagined they would go. Ongoing sexual sin takes a soul into the places we see in our nation’s headlines. It should not be difficult to put two-and-two together: childhood sexual abuse, human sex-trafficking industry, rape, serial murder, sexual abuse of boys and girls in religious circles and the film and music industry… the wretched list on parade is endless. This downward spiral draws habituated people into one of three main areas of abuse toward others: sodomy, bestiality, and pedophilia — a sexual lust for children.

Statistics indicate those sexually molest children, first addicted their brain to pornography. As the physical brain changes so does the desire for more deviant stimuli to get the same “high”. You have a choice. The temptation to lust after pre-pubescent children to get your fix is diabolical. Flee! Satan delights in shame and the destruction of innocents. You become his fool; a pawn in his hand. You become a self-centered idolator and lose genuine concern for the well-being of others, choosing to satisfy the wicked lust that drives you. Why continue being tormented when Christ offers you freedom? The mind differs from your brain, it is “seated” in your heart according to scripture. This means you can change your mind, which will determine your actions and set you free from spiritual bondage. You can change your brain, once you decide to change your mind.

Look where sexual immorality has taken you and what you are doing to those around you… it affects everyone; no one is an island. …and getting married will not solve your problem, it will only pull more people into the pit with you. You alone must choose.

Just as the fool has said in his heart, “there is no God…” (Psalm 14:1), someone who professes to know Jesus Christ and continues in sexual sin, is like the proverbial fool. One day the revelation will come on the deception they lived under and what the pleasure of sin delivers (read Proverbs Chapter 4 & 5). Sin changes everything!

Let us all wake up and turn from any known sin in our lives, large or small. Fornication (pornea) of any kind will bring consequences, if not sooner, then later, as it did in my life. Satan, the master deceiver, comes along making shame and guilt appear larger than Truth and God’s forgiveness. His goal is to entrap people and finally, with glee, usher them into Hell for eternity.

If we could see into the spiritual realm active here on earth, it would be astounding to know what our loving Father is constantly protecting us from! We must gain a healthy reverence for God and face the reality of what His inspired Word says about sexual immorality. Hate the sin and stay far from it! Become grateful, thank Him, fear Him, renounce your sin and repent with godly sorrow. He desires to set you free.

For further learning on overcoming sexual immorality go to RESOURCES.
Photo Credit: Canva, Family/Rodolfo Quirós/Pexels.

Where Does Your Strength Lie?

Published on March 30, 2019April 2, 2019 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Anyone familiar with the account of Samson’s life will see that he was physically very strong, but of weak character. That flaw brought him to a place of becoming sport for the Enemy. His weakness, a desire for women, took him outside of God’s permitted covenant. Because he chose rather in indulge in his own passions; hedonism cost him dearly — betrayal, mocking, suffering and death were the results of his choices.

“Then the lords of the Philistines gathered them together for to offer a great sacrifice unto Dagon their god, and to rejoice: for they said, our god hath delivered Samson our enemy into our hand. And it came to pass, when their hearts were merry, that they said, Call for Samson, that he may make us sport. And they called for Samson out of the prison-house; and he made them sport: and they set him between the pillars.” Judges 16:23, 25 KJV.

Lust and Pride
Let’s look at his life for a moment. The scripture tells us in Judges Chapters 13-16 the account of his conception announced by the angel of the Lord, up through his death under the rubble as he pulled down the pillars of the house of the Philistines. It displays for us a man who was given over to the desires of his flesh and involved himself with women he had no business marrying, nor toying with. Delilah, his infamous wife, ultimately was able to discover where his strength lay. After much prodding and testing, she was given the secret to God’s power in his life. The enemy works like that; Satan is relentless in pursing people to “…steal, kill and destroy.” (John 10:10).

What about you? Have you traded God’s secrets with the world? Are the words and insights God bestowed upon you at some point in your life still precious? Or have they become common, even to be mocked at? Has the name of God become vain for you, using it other than in reverence or praise? Are you playing games with your desires? Look around, you too will find yourself ultimately used as sport for the enemy’s camp.

What Happened?

It can be hard to understand how someone who once loved God can become someone who ends up mocking Him. It all happens so incrementally, many do not realize they are being lured into a trap. As Samson lay on Delilah’s lap, his strength was taken from him. He put himself in a place of being worn down and finally gave up and gave away the precious gift of God he received as a child. This scenario is being repeated by many who have been entrusted with gifts by God, yet are taken captive by the snare of Satan. “In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.” 2 Timothy 2:26.

In the book of second Timothy, Paul, as mentor to young Timothy, gives guidance on how to instruct those who oppose themselves and end up ruining their lives. He begins Chapter 3 by telling him what the landscape will look like. 2 Timothy 3:2-5 “For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.”

You may be frustrated with what you see happening around you. I’d like to encourage you to believe that God is just and He is faithful to speak to those going astray. Yet, He will not violate their free-will. So you must pray. You can be assured He is at work in the midst of poor choices.

Humble Yourself
Will you trust our Heavenly Father who knows all? Pray, and live your life fully for God. He will show you when there is opportunity to speak the truth in love to those headed for destruction (Ephesians 4:15). The Holy Spirit will tell you when to hold your peace and allow consequences to do the speaking. Remember our love is naturally limited, but God’s is abundant! He is at work continually, drawing people unto Himself.

Samson is a good example of a young man with great purpose and destiny; yet his choices side-tracked him. In the end God used him, but the testimony of a life well-lived for God’s glory was absent. Don’t come up short, living for yourself, rather live for God’s glory and at the end many will see and know that you chose His life over your own pleasures. And the rewards you’ll receive will be manifold on earth and in Heaven.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Keeping Your Brain Secure

Published on March 23, 2019February 14, 2021 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Brain and mind studies interest me. We are told now that our brains can be “hacked” by computer algorithms (persuasiveness) and we need an anti-virus for our brain. As soon as I heard this, I thought: and God provided it! It’s truly wonderful that God has already precluded our problem by giving us the protection for our brain long BEFORE technology arrived. I find that amazing; yet, few people apply God’s protective measures.

I am often thinking about how powerful God’s Word is. “For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 (NASB). Our Father gave us instructions about renewing our minds daily so that we would have a habit of protection, providing us security from the world; He knew how desperately we need it. In the day we are living in, many still do not realize how much our brains have been affected by technology.

The mind is immaterial, unlike the brain which is organic/material. The reason there is so much controversy in the world over mind and brain studies is that opinion differs depending on your world view. God has told us so much about the minds He gave us and how to have a healthy one. If we adhere to the understanding which God our Creator provides, we can know His purpose and design for highly functional, pure, and fruitful minds.

Scripture tells us that our minds are seated in our hearts.

Jeremiah 17:10 ESV “I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”

1 Chronicles 28:9 [ David’s Charge to Solomon ] “And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought.”

Matthew 22:37 ESV And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

Romans 12:2 ESV “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Philippians 4:7 ESV “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Hebrews 10:16 ESV “This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds,”

1 Peter 5:8 ESV “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

Romans 8:5-6 ESV “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

We see this all around us as our culture continues to accept as normal, very destructive, and harmful influences. Some professing believers seem to have fallen into a trap themselves of believing the Kingdom of this World’s thinking over the actual Word of God. This can be seen in our lives, churches, small groups, everywhere. Our thinking has been greatly influenced by the culture we live in. This is not new, but with powerful persuasive technology that we willing give ourselves to, we are sucked into a vortex that perhaps we don’t realize has gotten us.

Anti-virus Protection

The wise solution for any generation is dousing your mind in God’s Word; this is our only safety-net from hidden invaders. While technology is very persuasive, we can choose what we set our minds upon and respond well to attacks. Remember: “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” Galatians 6:7-8 (ESV)

When I listen to techy millennials like Tristan Harris talk about technology and what it is doing today to people’s minds, I cannot help but realize once again how smart God is! He’s given us the brain security we need — the question is: Will you apply it?

Tristan Harris on TEDx (17 minutes)

Photo Credits: Pixabay

Writing Delights

Published on March 16, 2019December 23, 2020 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Writing is a delight to me! It is a way we can express the wonders that God places within. Out of our hearts proceed all of the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts… “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” One way to get to know your heart is to write!

Our good and loving Father has the ability to show us our hearts is various ways throughout life’s journey. This is crucial to our development and dependence upon Him. Without His loving care and correction, we’d be lost. In Hebrews 4:12 we are told of the importance of God’s Word to do surgery within our hearts. “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” How powerful is that! Then verse 13 goes onto say, “Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.” So really, God’s already sees us, knows us, and desires closeness with us.

Writing is a good way to reflect back to yourself what’s within your heart. It is a great way to allow the Holy Spirit to teach you truth about yourself and your chosen course.

For many years I struggled with frustration and anger in my soul. I used a journal to write it out, look at my reality, and wonder how God would change it. On occasion, I’ll pick up my journal(s) and read a few pages; I’m absolutely amazed at God’s awesome faithfulness along with how often I allowed fear to derail me! This practice has also revealed to me how God has been with me, never leaving, even when I felt very alone. What a treasure and delight to know this.

What we think upon will eventually work its way out. Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

May I encourage you to write! Whether for yourself or others, it’s a way of expression that can free our souls. Better than words that cannot be taken back, writing gives the ability for self-examination, sorrow over sin and adjustment. God is so good; He redeems us from the curse of sin and gives us new life in Him! I’m forever grateful for His grace.

Photo Credit: Pixabay