I was fearful, afraid to broach the subject, so nervous inside, my stomach filled with acid, my heart pounded and I wondered how I could possibly confront this. I have been through this so many times before; previous attempts at trying to deal with the problem have failed. But what IS the problem?! It’s so elusive; I can’t quite put my finger on it. I’ve been told I’m a bit crazy, suspicious, going overboard… “relax; maybe some medication will help you chill out a bit“. Why try? Avoid– that’s it! I’ll just lay low and pray and hopefully, time will fix all of this. Yes, don’t think you have to do everything. Lot’s of people have problems… you’re blowing things out of proportion. Remember last time you said something and it turned into a huge war? The kids think I’m going crazy too. What’s wrong with me? Do I have a mental problem? Maybe I am going crazy? Help…
Secrecy is what keeps sin alive. These thoughts are common among those in relationship with someone who has a secret.
1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality… Are you lashing out in anger at those around you when asked a question? Are you isolating, turning inward? Using your device (phone) in order to avoid others? Do you see your indifference toward life?; toward others? No depth in meaningful conversation, have you become unthankful, unholy, defiled? Have your self-centered lusts blinded you? This warning is written in love for your soul, urging you to flee…
STOP! Look where sexual immorality has taken you and what you are doing to those around you… it affects everyone; no one is an island.
Galatians 5:19-21 (ESV) Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
UNDERSTAND that fits of anger are normal for those who continue to harbor a hidden sinful life. When you press on something that touches the secret of one who has not guarded their heart, get ready for push back, blame and skilled manipulation. Some have honed this so well they can intimidate you into thinking they are innocent in the midst of their fits. They want you to back off, acting like you are the reason for their anger. No, they are responsible for their own anger and Satan loves it and is laughing, delighting in the deceptive work of his hands.
Someone who continues to indulge in selfish pleasure rather than serving God, and their family, is an idolater. A sexually impure person is covetous and cannot participate in God’s Kingdom. Short of repentance, they will face judgment and a place in hell forever. Think of that; a person who is willing to be forever separated from God and those they love! Why? Because they loved their sin more!
So, what can I do? First, PRAY for someone caught in the web of sexual immorality; ask God to give them godly sorrow (delineated in 2Corinthians 7:9-11) so they will repent. Prayer will also give you spiritual authority to stand strong upon God’s Word while walking through the battlefield you’re in. It will give you the ability to love their soul while hating the sin they’re involved in. Secondly, confront with God’s Word. Don’t coddle sin in any form; sin must be destroyed, completely rooted out and revealed; brought into the light (I John 1:7). Like the serpent it is, the head must be severed allowing the twisting body to die. The only way someone will become free is to hate the sin the way God does.
Ephesians 5:5 (ESV) For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
It is heartbreaking to see families torn apart by sin; it is happening all around us. Whether you’re the one who’s been hiding sin or the betrayed party, respond to God. God will avenge all unrighteousness. Rather than hold unforgiveness in your heart, get before God and ask Him to help you, and receive godly counsel on how to walk in forgiveness. It will be a hard road, but worth it. Whether the marriage survives infidelity or not, forgiveness will still be your issue to pursue. Betrayal in any form is painful and will greatly affect you if you do not come to a place of forgiveness and wholeness.
Romans 12:19 (ESV) Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
The Book of Proverbs says that a fool only expresses their own opinion and does not want to listen to wise counsel. In Proverbs, chapters 4-6, there is strong counsel about staying away from situations that will lead to sexual sin. What we allow to enter our hearts, and then ponder, think about and entertain, will determine our actions. That is why we are told to guard our hearts. Proverbs 4:23 (KJV) Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Masturbation is sin, no matter what your own thinking or a therapist may tell you. Sexual pleasure was created by God between a husband and wife within the covenant of marriage. Self-sex will corrupt you in several ways: 1) You are decieved thinking it’s harmless and you become a deceiver to your spouse. 2) Sexual intimacy involve giving and you have trained your mind to be a taker/receiver of pleasure only, through this self-centered practice. 3) You betray your spouse by not sharing sexual intimacy with her. 4) You become spiritually impotent. Your compromised position will give your enemy (workers of darkness, demons) a foothold in you, forfeiting the authority of God in your life. 5) You’ll become physially impotent. You will need more than normal sexual interactions with your spouse in order to fulfill your lusts. (Read Matthew 5:27-30, Hebrews 13:4, Romans 1:26-27, 1Corinthians 6:18). You will reap what you sow.
Sin is incremental by nature, the downward spiral takes people to places they never imagined they would go. Sexual sin that continues ends up in the places we see in our nation’s headlines every day. It should not be difficult to put two-and-two together. Childhood sexual abuse, the human sex-trafficking industry, rape, serial murder, sexual abuse of boys and girls in religious and film/Hollywood communities… the wretched list is endless. I believe the end of the line for many is sodomy, bestiality, and/or pedophilia. A self-centered idolator loses genuine concern for the well-being of others. God has designed us with hormones for sexual relationship, but when taken outside of the boundaries of marriage, they turn to evil lusts resulting in much devastation upon innocents.
Just as the fool has said in his heart, “there is no God” (Psalm 14:1), someone who professes Christ and continues in sin, like the proverbial fool, will realize one day what they have bartered away. Satan deceives, making shame and guilt appear larger than Truth and God’s forgiveness.
We need to gain the fear of God and face the reality of what the inspired Word of God says about sexual immorality. Hate the sin and stay far from it. If we could see into the spiritual realm active here on earth, it would be astounding to see what our loving Father is constantly protecting us from. Become grateful, thank Him, fear Him and renounce your sin and repent with godly sorrow. He desires you to be free!
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