Guilt & Shame

My heart goes out to anyone living in relationship with someone who is carrying a load of guilt and shame. It is a heavy load that weighs people down. Sometimes it is loaded on because of the sin against us by someone else and we carry the offense. Other times it comes from our own sinful condition or our perception of the situation we’re in. There can be many reasons for it.

For people in this struggle, self-protection can grow into an obsession. It takes precedence over everything, and relationships suffer greatly.

If you live with, or interact closely with someone living with guilt and shame you can understand how difficult it is to interact with them.  Normal questions and conversations are virtually impossible. A defensive posture is the norm — the inability to express to them a complete thought without interruption, accusation, anger, or disrespect is commonplace.

Understand that the conflict the guilty soul feels is great because the person wanting to help them is usually someone who offers love to them and has already demonstrated much care for them; therefore they are conflicted between a sense of duty to respond rightly versus self-protection. This brings confusion in because one day things can go seemingly well and the next very badly. It’s understandable why many give up in attempting loving confrontation. It is often because of our own failure to consistently love or the abusive responses becoming to painful to bear, or both.

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Continue to read full article and a biblical solution

Exposed!

bridge-19513__480Imagine with me someone who was imprisoned underground away from any light for a long period of time. What would happen if you took them and suddenly transported them onto a bright sunny lawn? They would cringe, withdraw, every part would ache and try to run to shade for some relief. Bringing someone out of a life of darkness and pain takes time. The one thing we can offer someone who’s suffered in a prison of pain is HOPE.

Hope is the antithesis of darkness and despair – and it doesn’t bring the pain that exposure does. Hope is gentle and kind, like love.  Hope says, “Don’t worry, things can change. It will take time, but you can be free to experience love, faith, peace, and freedom.

I Cor. 13 tells us that charity (or love) covers like a blanket, protecting us while we cold-2722002__480move from darkness to light. It allows us to gradually see again. God’s love demonstrated to us, usually through people, allows for transition. We are not cast from a dark underground cell of pain and sin into the street of exposure — unlike those who brought the woman caught in the act of adultery into the village square and threw her at Jesus feet for judgment (John 8:3-5).

We can be like those men – it’s our human nature to expose others for their sin. We’ve all done it. Knowingly or not, we have cast people into the street for judgment. The men who threw her at the feet of Jesus were guilty themselves. They wanted to see what He would do with her, a sinner — this woman caught in the act of adultery. Our pride blinds us to God’s ways. Jesus wrote something in the dirt, and the men began to leave. Then He said, Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No man, Lord.” And Jesus said unto her, “Neither do I condemn you: go, and sin no more”. 12 Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” (John 8:10-12 NKJV).

Jesus’ manner caused the Pharisees much turmoil. They were religious, filled with pride and did not understand relationship with God. “Who is he, that he can forgive sin!” they thought and questioned (John Chapters 9 and 10). Little did they know.

SUFFERING

We all will face trials and suffering in our world because of sin present in mankind, whether directly or indirectly: because of your sin toward others, theirs toward you, or simply because of our response to pain.

bucharest-1280226__480While in Romania this fall, I visited Ceausescu’s Palace. Once called the People’s House, today it is known as The Palace of the Parliament (the largest administrative building in the world). The Wumbrand’s were a family who knew what it was to suffer at the hands of another, yet God cared and demonstrated His love to them in the midst of suffering. Pastor Richard Wumbrand was held in solitary confinement130704_wurmbrand for 3 years during his 14 years in communist prisons. He spent time in a solitary cell in the basement of this “palace”, tortured for His faith in Jesus Christ, as they attempted to get him to renounce Christ and accept the state religion of Communism as his “Savior” — but he would not. I have a video of him made years later when he returned to the dungeon cell. God—the Holy Spirit and His angels–ministered to Richard there. He was pale, starving and beaten. If someone would have taken him from the underground cell and suddenly cast him upon the huge lawn that surrounds the palace, he certainly would have recoiled from the exposure to light, something he had been deprived of for so long.

Have you been in a place of suffering? Perhaps silently, others may not be aware of it, but the pain is very real. God extends His love to you, which may be difficult for you to recieve if you have suffered in a religious enviroment. Recognize that you have a choice in the matter of how you respond to suffering.

THE BATTLE

Satan hates you. He is the author of every dark place in life – bar none. When sin entered our world, with it came death, disease, destruction and every sort of wickedness man could conceive. Satan hates God and is constantly prowling like a lion, looking for those he can tempt and pull into sin. Sin unchecked, unrepented of, eventually becomes a stronghold and then a bondage difficult to escape. It takes many forms yet generally it is seen two ways: destruction of self or of those around you, sometimes both.

Several years ago I needed to walk out of a dark place in my life. Dear friends were desiring to help me, through a counseling process, into the light of freedom. It was very painful and It was not easy to move from the place where I had developed my cocoon of safety. I was deeply wounded from years of deception, fear and confusion that took me to a cavern of sorts – even though it seemed light at times. It was a gradual process, nothing sudden; like the frog in the water pot, things happened and changed and yet I did not realize what was happening until years later upon exposure. By God’s grace I was preserved, kept in His care.

Over time, the dark place in our life can become our normal; we learn to adjust and function there. But is it a place of freedom? That is an important question to ask yourself. God’s desire for each person he created is freedom, not bondage. Satan is the author of bondage. Jesus sacrificed, suffered, was crucified, died and was buried for us — for our sin. Satan was glad to see his nemesis crucified. BUT then something happened. . . the bonds of death could not hold Him in the grave. The earth shook, and the grave opened and He was free, He rose from the dead! Jesus became our example in overcoming Satan and his intentions. Death could not hold Him — He is our resurrected Savior and King! Helove-699480__480 now offers this victorius LIFE to us. He was not a victim of Satan’s plans, nor are we.

Freedom from the bondage of sin in any form – even subtle self-protective pride, fear of man, fear of the future — these can all be renounced and freedom can be embraced through surrender to Christ and His Lordship.  He is a precious, wonderful caring Savior. And He desires relationship with you.

HIS LIGHT

Jesus wants to bring you to the light, but he will not expose you in a harmful way. He wants to cover you with a blanket and cleanse you from every sin. He offers kindness and love to you, not harshness and high demands.  He knows all about your brokenness and pain. He truly understands everything you have experienced. There is no shame or guilt that he cannot take and turn into peace and safety. Willread-1188585__480 you trust Him? Allow Him to show you the abundant life He offers? His Word will restructure your thoughts. You don’t have to hold on to old patterns of thinking that are wrong. God wants to instruct you in the way of life, as well as expose the enemy, Satan, for the wicked devil that he is.

If you want to make a difference in our world – to accomplish justice — it will not come through the kingdom of this World, but rather through God’s Kingdom. Learn to wage war there – not a war of guns and violence, but of submission to God’s power and authority. God’s ability to turn a king’s heart, a nation, and our lives is unlimited. Our choice is to cooperate —  we decide whether we will surrender or not to His ways. When we belong to Him, His love compels us to obey Him. I John 5:3 says, “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome”  (NLT).

Let us humble ourselves and recognize our need of God to govern in our lives, nation, and world. We need to recognize our position before our Creator God — we deserve nothing and He deserves everything.  He alone is worthy of all our praise and worship. Jesus warned that he did not come to bring peace but a sword (Mt. 10:34) and this severing from the world involves leaving some things behind that we previously loved about ourselves — wrong thinking for one. When Christ returns it will be a terrible day for many, and men’s hearts will fail them for fear (Luke 21:26). Once this period of grace is up, He will judge all people in righteousness and judgment (Rom. 2:5-7, Rev. 20:11-15). Tuck yourself in with Him. He desires to throw the blanket of His love and forgiveness around you and then grow you into His image. Decide to seek Him. We do not know the number of our days and if this will be our last.

Are you ready to be exposed to the Light of heaven? Are you living in a dark place and the Light will cause you to recoil and hide instead of embracing Him? If so, choose life today — find someone who is living in relationship with Christ that can help you find your way to Him. HOPE awaits you.

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How the Mighty Have Fallen

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The string of sexual abuse allegations and ensuing consequences we have seen in the news is no new thing. At God’s appointed time, He lifts the veil on sin, exposing the widespread sexual idolatry among well-groomed men and women.

It used to be that the image of a pedophile, sodomite, or other types of sexual idolaters, was of someone unshaven, lurking around in a dark alley. No more – sexual lust is rampant. Nice looking and clean-shaven, they are in every type of business and professional setting. With the availability of pornography on the internet, and the many people habitually feeding on this, we are seeing the definite results, yet this is only the tip of the iceberg. God judges sin — people can spin sexual idolatry however they want, but God calls it sin.

God is gracious and merciful, he always gives clear warning about the consequences of sin before they come. He warns: if you do this – you will face this. It’s called the law of sowing and reaping. “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked, whatsoever a man (woman) sows, he (she) shall also reap” (Gal.6:7). Simple, yet our sin-nature gravitates that way. That is why we need a Savior.

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The past decade has been flooded with ED (erectile dysfunction) ads. Many people unaware of the physiological effects of masturbation with pornography may not have put 2 and 2 together as to why there’s so much public talk concerning such a private problem. Those who understand the link between the porn-addicted brain and sexual dysfunction knew why those ads were becoming mainstream. See: Your Brain on Porn

The gospel of Christ is the only solution to a sin-depraved world. Some of us may not gravitate toward sexual sin, but let us not become Pharisees, rather recognize that we all need to examine ourselves to see where we may be displeasing God and repent. Pride is something all humans are prone to, it’s in our DNA. Let us humble ourselves, be available to God, and be available to those who desire to repent and change.

Huge Paradigm

Our culture doesn’t recognize the word sin. They have substituted secular terms for sin. The sad truth is that many church attendees, even bible-reading people, do not want to acknowledge some of the modern-day sins that have encroached upon our culture. Unless we use biblical terms and define sin properly we can never bring remedy for the problem. Homosexuality, lesbianism, purveyors of gender confusion, and the like are addressed in Romans chapter 1 which states what happens to a person who continues therein. If we truly love people and want to offer freedom, we need to refer to these things for what they are so they have hope of freedom in the forgiveness that Christ offers for sin.

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Beware your sin will find you out; this is a biblical promise. Some people like “Promise Cards”, little notes, or booklets listing the “nice” promises of God. We are admonished by Paul in Ephesians 4:15 to speak the truth in love and this requires the warning “promises” as well. At some point, God gives someone over to their sin. We see in Romans 1:24-26 God gave them up to…, vs. 26 God gave them up to… and vs. 28 God gave them over to…

There’s HOPE!

If you are involved with sexual sin, repent, and get godly, biblical, counsel so you can be set free from the snare of your enemy and your habitual choices. Acknowledge you need help and be willing to humble yourself and seek out someone trustworthy to help you. Pray and ask God to give you a nurturing church family to pray for you and help you through the struggle to become free. God will answer sincere, honest prayer.

Photo credits: Ellen DeGeneres Show, Matt Lauer. Pixabay

Now what? When loving care is exhausted…

What do you do when you see someone you love and care about heading down the wrong road?

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1) ASK for guidance from the Lord. Hold on to what the Holy Spirit shows you in the midst of prayer and His Word. Psalm 63:1-3 (KJV).

2) DISCERN if you should speak or hold your peace. Discerning when and what to say is important. Prov. 9:9 (KJV).

3) PRAY always and sometimes with fasting. Mark 9:29 (KJV): 2So He said to them, “This kind can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting.”

Prayer prepares our hearts with the heart of God toward grace and mercy for all. Through fasting we overcome our flesh and rise to a place of power with God to overcome self and the works of the Devil. Deliverance comes in the spiritual realm. We are dealing with demonic workers of iniquity. Christ knew their power and our weakness in the flesh.

Keeping ourselves daily in God’s Word and prayer will give us guidance in these matters. We should also rely upon the authorities God has provided both in our church and/or civil government.
Note: This was primarily written for those situations that do not require the involvement of civil authority as proscribed in Rom. 13:3-6. If this is warranted, then as a Christian the situation should be brought into the light (I John 1:7) for necessary correction and consequences. Consult with your pastor, a solid Christian friend or leader, if you are uncertain about matters that are questionable. There are many more verses to be considered when it comes to knowing how to respond, such as Hebrews 12:12-14 (KJV) and your pastor should be able to guide you. A Biblical Counselor can be an additional resource.

Continue to read full article under tab: HOW TO WALK IT OUT

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Self Pleasure

God is so smart, He cannot be fooled, nor can we out-smart Him.  As our Creator, He knows us inside and out. Because of His great love for us, He warns us many times in scripture to not become idolaters.  By that I mean, a pleasure-seeker.  We are reminded that the fulfilled and joyful life comes from seeking relationship with Him.

Someone may feel that what I just wrote reveals a very selfish God.  What kind of God says we can only find true fulfillment in Him!  Why does He have to be a part of my life in order for me to be happy? This self-centered thinking reveals the nature of man and evidence of our sinful condition.  Ignorance is not bliss, it leads to destruction.

God doesn’t give us guidelines and commandments to restrict us from pleasure and joy.  He knows what will bring us ultimate joy and peace, therefore He clearly tells us what types of pleasure and goals in life are healthy (one in spirit with Him) and those that bring us to shame and ruin.  Open and read His Word with a seeker’s heart. Humble yourself before your Awesome Creator. He loves you dearly — choose to glorify Him. This is where true and lasting joy will be found.

Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

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