Faith – Page 4 – Nancy Demary

Painful Pasts

Published on October 19, 2019November 13, 2019 by Nancy Demary9 Comments

If you have lived through a very painful past then you are able to understand how exhausting and emotionally dark it can be to recount these experiences… you feel the pain and turmoil all over again — as though you have purposely gone back for more. Who would want to do that to themselves? That is why many never come to healing because they fear the process – but you do not have to.

I recently had a taste of this experience upon my visit home to Wisconsin. After several days into my visit, I scheduled a day to go and visit several friends from the past. I had not previously taken the opportunity to tell some of the details of my recent journey and felt free to share more of my story during this visit. All went well with these friends and I enjoyed my time, but that night in my sleep a floodgate of pain poured into my soul. Upon waking, I felt like I had lost the victorious ground I’d gained – like I had traveled back to a very broken place in my climb; what happened? This experience caused me to think about why this occurred.

When we re-enter the large room of our painful past and relive it, that doesn’t mean we are still there. It may feel that way momentarily, but what we do with these feelings will determine how we think. We can choose to restructure our minds and return to the place of peace God has given or continue ruminating upon the feelings that have resurfaced.

Many face fear when thinking of their past, and so leaving it alone is the solution they choose; yet God has a better way. In my view, if you are not holding tightly to God’s healing hand and being guided by the power His Word offers, it is a fearful and dangerous proposition to regurgitate the past. Hope and healing that proceed from your Creator’s heart is the safest arena from which to process the painful experiences you’ve lived through.

Truthfully acknowledging that we have suffered is honest and right to do. Bringing into the light all that is darkness (or sin) is needful (I John 1:7). Forgiving our offender is necessary (Matt 6:14-15) and is a process that we want to pursue; a good counselor/mentor can help with that. Allow God to set things straight (Romans 12:19). Healing from the wounds is God’s will and if you desire that, it can happen — that’s is God’s specialty.

I’m thankful our hearts and minds can be powerfully renewed and rebuilt through the Holy Spirit’s work in us. Sharing our testimony about what God has done for us is good. When Jesus Christ suffered and died for sin, He offered the possibility for us to gain freedom from our past. This includes sin we have committed as well as those committed against us. Jesus suffered the awful price and penalty for our sin on the cross 2000+ years ago, we are now left to respond to this great gift He offers. How we appropriate His sacrifice for sin will determine our freedom and healing, or not.

If you are struggling concerning the pain of your past, through poor decisions made and/or violations committed against you, I hope this helps you in your climb to freedom. God’s plan is to recover and deliver you from destruction. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy us, but Jesus said He came to give us abundant life! (John 10:10).

There is hope for you! No matter what your journey has been, remember God can redeem it and give you great purpose in your future because of it.

This is part 1 of a 2 part message. We will look at the steps to recovery and deliverance from the pain in the next message.

1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Romans 12:19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Continue to Part 2

Disciples – Are you One?

Published on August 31, 2019October 4, 2019 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Are you a disciple? … one who is willing to be taught, learn and grow in your understanding of the Scripture and then live out what you are learning. The truth is you will recognize a disciple by the fruit of their life. What a person gives their time and energy to reveals their heart and soul. It determines their interests and makes clear who or what they are serving. Disciples KNOW where their IDENTITY lies (Col. 2:10).

SIN in our world — When we hear of a mass shooting or some other wickedness perpetrated against human beings, are you left dumb-founded, finding it difficult to understand what is happening? Do you ask, “How can someone do something like that?” Scripture tells us we are seeing manifestations of evil, schemes devised by Satan to “steal, kill and destroy…” (John 10:10) through a person whose life is given over to sin.

I find it interesting that Christians will acknowledge SIN, yet often they try to find help for spiritual problems with a system that does not have this 3-letter word in their vocabulary. The DSMMD (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) cannot acknowledge this as a diagnosis, yet sin is the foundational cause of man’s problems. We live in a fallen sin-cursed world and need a victorious, hope-filled solution that is found in Christ. We are told in Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart, for out of it flows all the issue of life“. True deliverance from oppression, including anxiety attacks, depression, overwhelming fear and mental anguish can have organic (physiological) involvement, yet many neglect the first and primary place of importance to investigate and that is the spiritual heart and soul. This is where sin has its effects. This is why being a disciple and offering yourself to the ministry of discipling (teaching, admonishing in obedience to God and His Word) others is so important.

I am thankful for men and women of God who have been surrendered to the leadership of the Holy Spirit and have been used by God as teachers and godly examples to us. Paul admonishes Timothy, the young pastor at Ephesus, as a son in the faith to teach to others the things that Paul had taught him. (2Timony 2:2) He went on to say that Timothy should find faithful men (and women) that he could teach and disciple and then, in turn, these would do the same for others. This is the pattern of the early church and one we need to carry on today.

Derek Prince
I want to briefly share with you the ministry of Derek Prince; an Englishman who together with his inspiring wives (Lydia and after her death, Ruth), served as godly examples as followers of Jesus Christ.

A brilliant man who began his studies in philosophy and while reading the Scripture, as a philosophical work, became a follower of God. He taught the scripture with profound clarity, under the anointing the Holy Spirit. Derek passed away in September of 2003 yet his godly legacy lives on in many nations of the world today.
Derek’s teaching has helped many of us who have walked through periods of struggle against the spiritual forces of wickedness in our world (Sermon: Spiritual Warfare on Earth). Educated as a scholar of Greek and Latin at Eton College and Cambridge University, England, he held a Fellowship in Ancient and Modern Philosophy at King’s College. He also studied several modern languages, including Hebrew and Aramaic, at Cambridge University and the Hebrew University in Jerusalem.

For those who have not heard or read Derek Prince, I would urge you to take time and listen to the links here, or on my RESOURCE page. He was also gifted in teaching on the spiritual realm and understanding the present spiritual battle we are in with Satan, demons, and workers of iniquity. When you look at our world, yet do not understand or acknowledge spiritual forces you are left with only a partial view of what is taking place around you.

LINKS: Derek Prince Biographical Summary and 10-minute video documentary of his life. Lydia Prince taking in orphaned children in Ramalla, Israel, 30-minute video of two of their daughters testimony, the war-torn situation, Derek’s testimony of marrying Lydia and becoming father to her eight adopted children.

May I admonish you to become a disciple if you are not one yet? This will not happen by default. Begin by reading the Word of God daily and asking the Holy Spirit to teach you from the Scripture. Become engaged in a fellowship of believer’s where Truth is not hindered. No church offers everything, so find one that has something solid you can embrace and carry on with the ministry of reconciliation to those around you (2Corinthians 5:18). Those called to ministry are there to equip you to DO the work of the ministry (Ephesians 4:11-12).

My gifting and calling is teaching and discipling others; while doing that the Holy Spirit gives me discernment and insight based upon God’s Word into situations before me. We were created to be His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do His work (Ephesians 2:10) and He supplies what we need. God takes us, our personality and the gifts He bestows and is able to use our lives for His glory IF we set that as our goal.

Where’s your focus today? Do you want to become fruitful in His Kingdom and make a difference in your world? It will require effort and focused determination to not be swayed by the allurements of this fallen world. A disciple is a disciplined one who follows their Master. Jesus is our Savior, Priest, and soon coming King. Will you be happy to see Him upon His return or ashamed that you squandered your earthly days with lesser things that amounted to little – having no eternal value? I pray you will decide to become the best disciple you can for God’s glory and for the benefit of those around you.

The most fulfilling life on earth is experienced by the one who understands who they are in Christ and follows the Holy Spirit’s leading into a deeper walk with Him.

Photo Credit: Derek Prince Ministries, Pixabay

Grief

Published on July 27, 2019January 22, 2021 by Nancy Demary1 Comment

Grief of soul demonstrates the great value someone has placed upon a person, place or thing.

Anyone who has passed through the dark valley of grief knows what a painful trek it is. Death, divorce or some major loss brings us to this difficult journey. Whether the event was expected or not, it requires diligence to come out on the other side with a healthy sense of acceptance and closure.

Moving God into the center of your world is important during this process. Perhaps He has been a small piece of your pie and grief has brought you to a place of desperation, asking “How will I get through this?” I believe that unless we place God largely in the center of our circle, we will have deleterious ramifications from the loss we’ve suffered.

Sometimes we realize through our grief that we had placed too much hope or confidence in a person, place or thing. It often takes losing, before we realize this. (Psalm 118:8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.)

His Faithfulness
God alone is sinless, faithful, and completely true; He will never default on anything He has promised. He will go with us through every heartache and trial we face. He is the supreme companion every sojourner in life should have. Some have chosen wisely and have clasped His outstretched hand; others refuse and commiserate through life’s difficulties, coping with poor substitutes. God is the only one worthy of all of our love, devotion and complete dedication. When we suffer a major loss, we have Him and that makes all the difference. We will never come up short or empty-handed when we are holding onto Him.

I have gone through great loss and grief over the separation and ending of my marriage of 36 years. Even though I have held tightly to God’s Hand throughout these years, I have experienced much grief.

When we love someone and then lose them, a part of us goes missing. This new life without them causes us to feel awkward and it becomes difficult to adjust. Grief is a necessary part of the loss but left unchecked and lingering too long, it can be destructive to our soul. When loneliness sets in, close friends can fill that gap for a while but eventually, you will need to choose how to fill the hole left in your heart. Too often, many choose another substitute — a person perhaps, but find out that nothing should fill this void but God.

Those who choose to place God and His love in the center of their heart (on the throne) will come through this difficult period by God’s grace and will have grown. You’ve heard the better vs. bitter quote, and it’s true! If there remains unforgiveness toward God over your loss — or unforgiveness toward another person — bitterness will ruin you. Grief is designed to realign us with God, our Creator and the lover of our soul.

If you have suffered loss and are walking through the minefield of grief, consider trusting God by handing it ALL over to Him, asking Him to fill you afresh with hope for your future. (May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 ESV). God’s Manual explains and offers this hope in its pages; having a mentor to guide through this time is helpful too. God supplied me with some wonderful people who counseled me through the most difficult days. I was hungry and eager to learn; I wanted God to remake me through this experience. How I thank Him for abundant goodness and the abounding Hope He has placed within my soul.

A friend recently asked why I felt she was struggling so in her situation. I replied that I believe for anyone of us the difference lay in these two places:

1. Believing that God can use all of your trials for His glory if you seek to understand the formula He has for us in His Word. Restructuring your thought-life is necessary for receiving this miracle from God. 2. Choosing to live victoriously through God’s provision versus dwelling in victimization and ruminating upon what has happened to you. We can all understand betrayal and abuse at some level. In order to move forward, we must forgive and leave the results with God.

Recently, my pastor shared an illustration concerning where we place our focus and the results of looking back in the rear-view mirror versus looking forward at the road ahead and all its possibilities. I’ve set my gaze upon Heaven, my only true home, everything between here and there is in God’s Hands. The words of a contemporary worship song says: Lord, I look to You, I won’t be overwhelmed, You’re where my help comes from, give me vision, to see things like you do… He gives me vision to see things like He does or to simply trust Him when I cannot see ahead.

Keep your eyes ahead, Keep your hand in His, forgive and move toward Heaven, no turning back… no turning back.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Aloneness

Published on June 14, 2019January 30, 2022 by Nancy Demary4 Comments

For some of us, moving from a busy family life with daily activity and interaction to one of aloneness creates a feeling of sadness and fear at times. We ask ourselves, “Will these feelings of loneliness I struggle with ever go away? Could this possibly get worse?” These are thoughts that someone goes through when adjusting to the new normal of being alone. I go through seasons of struggle with these thoughts more often than I’d like to. All it takes is a glance at a family leaving church together… walking by a restaurant alone… seeing a golden retriever playing with someone at the dog park down the road. Instances like these remind me of how alone I am. We realize we were made for community and when that is lost we suffer.

I recall a person I knew some years ago stating that divorce is the worse thing that can ever happen to someone. The grief, separation, loss of family, thoughts of what could have… should have been, come to haunt the mind. I understand now what they were saying. I certainly could picture it, but living through it myself makes me realize that aloneness is a battle.

So how do we fight these feelings that can seem so overwhelming at times? It’s true we have comfort in knowing God is with us, but sometimes we need a friend to offer support and care.

I find that God speaks to me often in these lonely hours and reminds me that Heaven is my true home and until I get there, I must recognize that this will be a part of life for me now. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:14-18 ESV

Remembering this battle is spiritual in nature, helps me understand that when I am struggling with aloneness I need to take action steps to connect with someone. Acting instead of reacting is needful. Rather than ruminating over what brought me to this place in life, I need to focus upon the goodness of God in the midst of my circumstance (Romans 8:28). Blaming another person for our position in life will only turn our hearts inward toward bitterness and more pain. Moments of loneliness are normal and they can be used by God to help us reflect upon His eternal greatness and what He has planned for those who love Him.

I find it helpful to consider Jesus’ life on earth for 30+ years. He knew the glory of heaven and relationship with the Father. During His time as the son of man, He suffered in our place, taking our sin; He understood separation and loneliness, along with anguish that we will never experience. When we consider Jesus in this way, we can find Him to be a friend, a brother, who understands. Through this identification, we come to see Him in a new way, a comforting way that reminds us He is here.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Stay in Your Own Lane

Published on June 7, 2019March 5, 2023 by Nancy Demary3 Comments

…a continuation of Aspire to Inspire.
Do you know how many grandparents are raising their grandchildren today because they never relinquished control? It is happening for many reasons, but one is that some parents hang onto the control stage way too long. Rather than allowing their children to step out and find their own way, these parents hold on and become surrogates, allowing their adult children to remain immature.

Grandparent, please let go. By crossing the line over into your adult children’s responsibilities, you are actually undermining God’s plan. Our task as grandparents, aunts, and uncles, is to support the parent in their position to govern their home. God has given clear instructions in His Word about proper authority; whether in the home (Ephesians chapter 6, Colossians 3:14-25), church (ITimothy chapters 2 and 3), or civil government (Romans chapter 13).

Here’s a common example: A child is fussing about a food item the parent has given them. Nothing is wrong with the food, but it’s not the child’s preference at the moment when viewing what someone else is eating and the child makes a scene (in public) about it. I have observed the parent addressing the child about their poor response when a “well-meaning” relative steps in to “help“. Perhaps you have done this yourself.

How is that controlling, you may ask — by the response you direct toward the child. Instead of allowing the parent’s words or actions to stand, you override them with something like, “Oh Honey, would you like ____ instead?” As a “well-meaning” extended-family member who feels uncomfortable with the child’s poor response, you’re inclined to rescue them! STOP! Rather, think about what you are doing. Instead of respecting the parent’s position and instruction, you go directly to the child, running interference.

Let’s look at what this undermining response does.

1) Disrespects the parent’s position in the child’s life.

2) Inserts confusion into an existing problem. The child has a simple choice before them. By your input, you are encouraging confusion in the child’s heart and increasing a tendency toward rebellious desires. Rather than training toward obedience to parents, you are reinforcing unhealthy independence. Realizing that age-appropriate independence is needful, if your adult child is struggling with that, then talk to them privately rather than using the child as an instrument of correction.

3) You are building distrust in the child concerning their parent’s authority.

4) You are developing a manipulator and potential addict. Through your actions, you are teaching the child to evade authority (ultimately God’s authority) and to learn to function outside “the law”. You are developing a liar. All children, teens, and adults habituated toward getting their own way end up lying to achieve their desires, whether they recognize it or not.

5) You are supplying your own “need” to be a solver, a giver, a “Grand” parent, as this is more important to you than the child’s true welfare. You may be oblivious to what you’re doing, so please open your heart to hear. You are essentially feeding an issue in your own heart that needs addressing, and you are undermining your grown son or daughter’s relationship with their child.

The Support Role
Recognize your place and role in the relationship. You can inspire those you influence in a proper way that works toward a pattern of healthy relationships. It is never your place to undermine, even though this can be a temptation. You want to be viewed as a wonderful, nice, kind person, in the eyes of your grandchild, niece, nephew, and the viewing public, but you are actually building walls of offense by indulging in your self-centered desires.

When we undermine those in authority, we are acting out of disobedience to God’s established pattern and His proscribed method. We are inviting failure into the multi-generational relationship. This can be changed once we recognize this in ourselves and humbly receive correction. It doesn’t feel good but it does pay large rewards for everyone. There is much I have had to learn regarding this and have made the necessary changes to move forward! And it’s been worth it all.

A note to parents: If this situation with an extended-family member exists, deal with it. Allowing someone else’s authority over your children is vitiating your duty as a parent.

Oftentimes as parents, you will not work on a solution because you are unwilling to discuss and deal with the situation, but you must. If either one of you is ignoring the problem and bringing confusion into your child-raising, humble yourself and confront one another in love (Ephesians 4:15). You are the parents, work this out between yourselves; do not bring further harm to your children or USE the children to display your differences. Develop a united front in your mission; get good counsel so that you do not put your burden upon your children.

Hold your lane so that well-meaning relatives are not tempted to cross over into it and drive your family’s car.

Photo Credit: Canva, Pixabay

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