I was struggling with frustration recently… and let’s be honest, frustration is rooted in anger.

I found an article in my counseling folder that helped me so much in my early days with the tremendous struggle I faced in my crumbling marriage. I must have kept it to return to often during those days of climbing out of my pit of confusion and despair. Well, it helped me today with a non-marriage issue I am facing, and I decided it may also help you or a friend who may need good advice in this area.

I recall in one of my Biblical counseling classes, a case study we reviewed which reminded me of something very useful. The example illustrated was of a distressed, frustrated young married couple. The counselor said, “Ask yourself, ‘What am I wanting so badly that I am willing to sin to get it?‘”  This couple had been fighting, and they were so focused on blaming the other that divorce bombs were flying through their minds. They found themselves miserable in this self-exalting sinful behavior with no apparent way out. Oh, do I remember being stuck in that myself!

Often, we need to Step Back and look at our situation through the eyes of another. A good counselor can help us do this. Looking through a lens that removes us from the immediate pain can help us see more clearly.

A few questions…

When I experience frustration (internalized anger), I need to ask, “Why? What am I personally after here?” Then ask myself: “Do I want to glorify God in this situation?” Wow, that sure helps me sort through the motives and desires of my heart. Ouch! 

I hope you see results as you open your heart to God and ask the Holy Spirit to show you what you haven’t been able to see. Also, thank God for the kind of friends who pray for you and who love you enough to speak the Truth (found in God’s Word) in love to you. If that’s not happening, perhaps you need to humbly invite someone in to do it.

Abused, hurt, and angry dogs bite and growl, shooing away people who love them and care. But broken, wounded, humble ones get rescued and loved.

Remember, God wants to use us for His Glory. Our submission to that precept is the first step.

Here’s a blog article by Leslie Vernick: Anger Has a Short-Term Purpose. This may help you understand the purpose of some kinds of anger and move you on to a healthy solution.

Photo credit: Unsplash-Elisa Ventur