Heart – Page 8 – Nancy Demary

Freedom Living!

Published on March 30, 2018January 26, 2019 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Sad, discouraged, depressed? Angry when things don’t go your way? Many go through life wondering why their life seems discouraging while others seem happy. There are various reasons for this, and I will tell you that it is not God’s will for you to be bound by these feelings, but rather to find your hope in Him.

It Helps to Take Inventory

If you are struggling with these feelings, let’s look at some foundational factors. Is there something you are desiring that seems illusive? Do you feel obsessed with reaching a goal or attaining some status? Perhaps it’s a particular item you feel would bring you happiness; a certain job, marriage, a house. When you sense that someone is interfering with your plans for success, do you become agitated or angry with them? — a boss, co-worker, neighbor, parent, spouse, or child. If so, here’s a good weekly exercise: take a note-card and whenever you feel this happening, write it down so you can review it later. Allow yourself to notice how often this happens during the day and over the week. You will see a pattern develop that will prove helpful. What factors cause you to experience these agitated or anxious thoughts? We’ll come back to this later.

The Self-life

Our natural man, the way we are all born into this world as sinners, desires for things to go our way. From childhood our brains are wired to come out on top. Unless our parents understand God’s ways and are able to put great effort into training us to think differently, we often end up having to recognize and deal with this ME principle the hard way. God uses difficulties to attempt to teach us to give up the self-life and go with His-life instead — this is the way He designed us to function successfully .

Freedom in Christ!

Discovering the place of living for God’s glory, takes us out of this lower position of serving ourselves and exchanges our desires for His plans and purpose for us — this is freedom living. Instead of living according to our natural bent to sin; our self-serving nature, we become free to live for God’s glory. The beginning point to this position is known as being born-again by God’s grace extended to us. Nothing we’ve earned or deserve, but because of His love (Ephesians 2:8-9). The Holy Spirit then takes up residence within us so that the life of Jesus Christ himself is expressed in us and replaces our self-life (Galatians 2:20). While God gives to each of His created beings personality and unique gifts, His desire is that these are given to be used for His glory. This is where fulfillment, joy and peace are obtained. But this kind of living requires a choice on our part; initially and daily as we walk with Him.

Being Enlightened (Ephesians 1:18-20)

When we surrender our life to God we learn how to adjust our focus away from our personal ambitions, and turn our future over to Him. He desires our best and knows what that is. Once He is given control, He leads us into a life that is pleasing to Him and this is where we find true fulfillment, joy and peace. God’s Word becomes our basic training manual. Much like the retraining of the mind in a military boot-camp, we choose to enlist in a training program that will cause us to think according to God’s principles. The military teaches its recruits how to serve for the purpose of war or peace-keeping; in similar fashion we who belong to God’s kingdom are taught how to love and protect whether we are in the midst of difficulty or not. We are here to in order to promote God’s agenda and purpose in our world (Matthew 5:43-44).

Many of us have given ourselves to much learning in various areas of life, yet so few give the necessary time and interest to learning theology and allowing God’s Word to retrain our thoughts. Yet this is what leads us down the road to sanctification and satisfaction in life.

The Word of God tells us that it alone can reveal our true problems and teach us what to do in response to them. “For the word of God is living, and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and quick to discern the thoughts and intents of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12 ASV) It is only after we are able to see our intents for what they are, that we can choose to deal with them. Until then we are blinded and our own desires deceive us. We need the power of God’s words to change us. By the new birth experience, receiving the Holy Spirit to take up residence inside of us, we gain the ability to live for God. We then are able to put off the natural man, our old nature, and put on the new thoughts, words and actions of Christ. Once we experience this transformation we truly become new creations.

My Way vs. God’s Glory

Now back to the exercise. Any one who completes the written exercise I mentioned earlier should come to the conclusion that our self-life is the core issue to be dealt with. This diary of events helps us see that when we face frustration, it’s often because we want things to go our way, we want to receive the praise, status and comforts we feel we deserve.

Under the curse of sin, we are all born destined for destruction and eternal hell apart from God’s redemptive answer. Understanding this is crucial to living a life of peace with God and in freedom to glorify Him in all we do. Apart from this mindset, we will believe we deserve to be glorified, praised and exalted. We will come up short when it comes to happiness because it will be based upon the praise of people, rather than the satisfaction of knowing we are living for God. Unless Jesus Christ becomes King of our heart, idols will take their natural place leading us to self-destruction.

Victory lies in Glorifying God

When we remember Christ’s resurrection over death, hell, and the grave, let’s consider why He suffered and died. He came to give us abundant life in Him and defeat the enemy of our soul (John 10:10). He came to give us power, by the indwelling Holy Spirit, to overcome sin and ourselves! He was raised to life again and lives to intercede for us in order to gain success in freedom-living. Let us choose to surrender completely to His will and glorify God in our bodies. The choice is ours.

Photo Credit (Pixabay)

Our Real Enemy

Published on March 9, 2018May 25, 2023 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

ALL Christians face spiritual warfare. Some may not be aware of who actually is opposing them, and they end up taking offense and despising the people they ought to love. If we are not wise and equipped with minds renewed daily upon God’s Word we are easy prey to our enemy’s schemes and will believe that people are our enemy. In reality, all of humankind is under the sway of this masterful deceiver[1] in some way. Satan’s purpose is ONLY to steal, kill and destroy you[2].

What are your first thoughts when you wake up in the morning and there’s darkness present? Perhaps a bad dream resulting from the past. Where do you think these dark feelings come from? Certainly not from your loving Father who said He would cast our forgiven sins far from us and not bring them before us again. Of course, it would be from the oppressor, the enemy, who would like to rob you of the abundant life that Jesus promises to His own.

Be sure that when you are encountering these dark moments of fear, discouragement, shame or confusion, all of this is rooted in the strategy of Satan to cause you to doubt God and live in unbelief. Recognizing this and then going to God’s Word to renew your mind, and strengthen your soul, is the proper response. What did Paul tell us we should do daily in order to equip ourselves for these attacks? Ephesians 6:11-12 “Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places”. Go on to read and study verses 14-17 to learn what the armor of God is.

When I consider how much training goes into equipping the military for earthy battles, let us consider the daily onslaught from hell that we face — it is very real. We need to be equipped and ready to recognize the battle we are in. We need to be careful not to involve ourselves in unnecessary skirmishes to the neglect of the real spiritual battle we’re in. We can be sidetracked fighting temporal situations and people, instead of the one God has declared to be our real enemy.

I Peter 5:8-9 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour: whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

Prayer is the needful, consistent, daily exchange between us and our Father. He desires to guide us and glorify Himself through us. To be useful in His Kingdom and overcome our enemy, we must communicate and hear from God, our Chief and Commander. A good soldier heeds what He says and does it. We must equip ourselves with spiritual armor (Eph. 6:10-18) against this enemy; remember he is a subtle deceiver, not easy to recognize. Our victory against Satan is firmly planted in Christ’s victory over death, hell, and the grave at Calvary; Christ earned this position for us and He is greater than our foe.

A song written by Martin Luther about 500 years ago, A Mighty Fortress is Our God, describes this battle. Here is verse one of this hymn. Powerful songs like this have kept believers strong in faith and action. May we recognize the enemy’s craft and respond in the power of the Holy Spirit.

A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing; our helper he amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing.
For still our ancient foe doth seek to work us woe; his craft and power are great, and armed with cruel hate, on earth is not his equal.

[1] 2 Corinthians 4:3-4 But if our gospel be hidden, it is hidden to them that are lost: In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

[2] John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I have come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly.

May you RECOGNIZE your real enemy and RESPOND according to the Instruction Manual.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Keep Out!

Published on February 23, 2018January 22, 2025 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Don’t box me in! Has anyone ever said this to you? Have you ever felt like someone has put a “Keep Out” sign up over their heart? Lonely marriages feel like this.

Anne Beiler, founder of Auntie Anne’s Pretzels, told of how during a very low part of her life, her counselor, Richard Dobbins, said, “Anne, Satan builds his fortress in the secrets of our lives.” How true this is.

Another friend told me how out of desperation she was going to see a counselor to find out if he could guide her through what she was experiencing in her marriage; she knew something was wrong, but could not put her finger on it. After listening to her, the counselor said, “Your husband has a secret.” After absorbing the shock and simplicity of his answer, she realized this was the problem. It turns out her husband had been sinfully involved with a different women at each of the churches he pastored. Today they have a healed and rebuilt marriage because the secret was revealed, he surrendered and chose to get ongoing biblical counseling and accountability. He repented and asked God to change his idolatrous heart; and God did as he walked out the parts he needed to.

Perhaps you can recall a discussion that headed into a deeper level of emotion or intimacy, one requiring openness and trust, and the other person was unwilling to talk. Most all of us have experienced this in one way or another. A boxed up heart causes marriages to fail, parent-child relationships to grow distant, and destruction in the home because the heart is locked up over some past offense, current sin, or issue in the heart. But there is hope!

Certainly love is the governing foundation to good relationship and must precede questions that deal with heart matters. If we attempt to share our heart with someone and we receive a poor response in return, we shouldn’t just walk away offended, but rather realize there is a work God wants to do in this situation. Pray, seek God for guidance, and attempt the scriptural mandate to speak the truth[1] in love. This is a demonstration of love for them.

It’s Mine!

A push-back response is not uncommon from someone who does not want you to go near something they have carefully guarded, often for years, in their heart. That secret place contains chambers of pain, an overwhelming past, incidents of wounding, resulting in sin of some sort… thankfully God always has a solution for any sin–great or small.

Heart issues can lay dormant through periods of life; barriers have been constructed to protect these spots. Manipulative behaviors become well defined and careful avoidance is used to protect. So when someone, knowingly or not, comes along and probes the heart through conversation, reaction occurs. A rush of emotions fills the chamber and the fear of disruption causes this reaction. The response is used to remove the threat. Whomever the source, they will face the backlash of self-protection; anger, accusation — something to cause the intruder to shut-up or go away. Unless a wise counselor is invited in to help untangle the emotional fishline, the KEEP OUT sign will remain.

Does this describe your relationship with someone, or several people? It’s painful on both sides; who really wants to endure this continuely[2]? Sadly, so many families suffer estrangement because some are unwilling to do the homework involved with becoming untangled from their hurtful past.

How much better to surrender[3] the “box” to God and allow Him to tenderly deal with each item inside. Truly, it’s not an easy road. Problems protected and hidden, compound over time; give it 20 or 30 years and it seems an impossibility to deal with. But, God is waiting for you.

Loss: Counting the cost

So what’s the alternative to dealing with the secret chambers? Losing everyone you hoped to love; and facing isolation and loneliness, not by desire, but by consequence. Yes, some will squeak through an unfulfilled life, living it out in meager existence. But they will never experience the joy God intended because true love and joy involves giving. Someone with a bound heart cannot give. And the price is enormous, not only for the isolated one, but for those touched by their self-centeredness.

With God, there is hope. He knows[4] about everything in the box. But you must decide to trust Him[5] and the people He will use. He desires to help you take each lousy piece of garbage out of that box and deal with it. “How, you say, “can anything good come from dredging through this?” With God, a miracle can occur when someone decides to deal with the box inside. When we face ourselves, the sins committed by us or against us, and humbly cry out to God like David did: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me!” — Now God can work! He has the power to free us from this prison inside. That is the reason Jesus came to miracously save us from sin. Trust Him.[6] The release of the captive soul is God’s doing. Satan hates it because he hates you; he’s out to steal all you have, kill you, and destroy you for eternity in Hell (John 10:10). God, our Creator, is waiting to transform you, to give you abundant life in Him; He is doing this everyday for the willing heart!

Do you know that God wants relationship with you? Yes, you are His precious creation and He wants fellowship with you. But what keeps that from happening? A lack of trust, misunderstanding about His great love for you, self-idols on the throne? Any number of reasons can cause someone to feel unable to come to God the Father. If you will seek Him and trust Him, He will reveal Himself to you. He is waiting for you.

Resource: Further and much deeper insights into the captivity and release of the soul can be seen in listening to this 73-minute testimony of Paul Young, a man who describes the “shack” inside his heart. It is a powerful illustration of how God reached in and healed his very troubled heart. Paul came to the end of himself (the ravine; 51 min.) and was delivered.

God places people around us who love and care for us to help walk through this. In Paul Young’s life his wife, Kim, was one of the people God used. Even though she went through her own anger and frustration as to why this happened, she decided to persevere for their children’s sake, and finally saw the reward of her endurance[7]. Another person God used was a counselor, Scott Mitchell (55 min); he guided Paul through the difficult task of looking at what was in his heart, his shack. Paul took 11 years to journey to freedom, and the abundant grace he received, so delivered him that God was then able to use his testimony to free many others. Paul attributes God’s grace, and his wife Kim, and her diligence to holding him accountable, for his life being spared.

Footnotes: [1]Ephesians 4:15 (ESV) Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, [2]Psalms 38:8 (ESV) I am feeble and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart. [3]Psalms 25:16-18 (ESV) 16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. 17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. 18 Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. [4] Psalms 44:21 (ESV) would not God discover this? For he knows the secrets of the heart. [5] Proverbs 3:5 (ESV) Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. [6] Psalms 13:5 (ESV) But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. [7] II Thes. 3:13 (ESV) Do not grow weary in doing good.

Here’s one of Anne’s many **testimonies** of what God brought Anne through! I love these girls.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

The Bait of Satan contains biblical teaching by John Bevere on how to become free of offense. The teaching helps us look at the condition of our hearts, our expectations, dealing with wrong thinking, and pursuing oneness. “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.” Psalms 119:165 (KJV)

Personal Ambition

Published on February 7, 2018January 22, 2025 by Nancy DemaryLeave a comment

Pride is man’s most subtle and constantly encroaching enemy. By it we elevate ourselves above others, and even God at times. It can turn us into mockers rather than servants. We daily need to examine ourselves to see if we are walking in humility and freedom in Christ, or if pride in ourselves or our accomplishments prevail. Apart from God, we accomplish nothing.

In God’s Kingdom, the kind of personal ambition I’m speaking of becomes the enemy of God’s will for your life; this sort of ambition is centered in pride. In the world this is very normal and applauded. But those who have been called out of worldly living into Kingdom living need to see ambition that promotes oneself for what it is. If we fail to, we will not prosper in the Lord. I Peter 5:6 says, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time.” (KJV)

One way we can see pride’s ugly head is in the way we treat others when we are wronged. Pride has caused all of us to react wrongly at times; this response dwells in us through our sinful human nature. God works with us; constantly speaking through circumstances to get us to see this. Listen to His voice, and obey Him. The only way to overcome our natural man, the flesh, is through humbly surrendering to the Holy Spirit’s voice and obeying what He speaks to us. True humility comes only from the Holy Spirit; it’s a gift of His grace to us.

So, the next time you are interacting with someone you don’t agree with, check yourself. Are you reacting out of pride? Or are you practicing being like Christ — responding with humble confidence that comes from God. We can respond rightly. We are instructed to speak the Truth in love (Eph. 4:15), with humility.

Theologian, teacher, Derek Prince is a beautiful example of a man who taught the truth of God’s Word in wisdom, with authority and humility. Recently while listening to a sermon of his, I noted that when addressing an issue that bible scholars agree the details are such that only God can possibly know, he will say, “this is my understanding” or “my theory, it may not be true, but to the best of my understanding…”. I like that. He was educated as a scholar of Greek and Latin at Eton College and Cambridge University, England, he held a Fellowship in Ancient and Modern Philosophy at King’s College. He also studied several modern languages, including Hebrew and Aramaic, at Cambridge University and the Hebrew University in Jerusalem. I admire the qualities in this man who, while highly educated, teaches in humility and the fear of God.

We are in the last days; false teachers abound. Deception is the key word associated with the last days in scripture. We see throughout the Bible those who want to make a name for themselves (Personal Ambition), paid a great price for their foolishness. Teachers are given great responsibility and warning (James 3:1-2) concerning what they teach and speak. Teaching false doctrine and leading many astray is grievous to God. It also destroys relationships, harming the precious Body of Christ. In Galatians chapter 3, Paul confronts those who error in this way. He even had to deal with Peter, the apostle. So too, we must be careful about being bewitched.

We need to heed the warning to humble ourselves before God and allow Him to lift us up. Do not allow your own ideas, spiritual insights, personal revelations or prophetic insights cause you to go down the road of deception. Rather, humble yourself and He will raise you up and give you the position God desires for you. If you have errored, repent and turn to those who can help you walk in a new way. If you will, the Holy Spirit will help you to arrest your ambitions from taking you where God never intended you to go.

“God is more concerned with our character than with our achievements. Achievements have importance only in the realm of time. Character is eternal. It determines what we will be through eternity.” — Derek Prince

Sermon on Pride by Derek Prince (6 Min excerpt)

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What is Biblical Counseling?

Published on January 27, 2018April 29, 2019 by Nancy Demary1 Comment

Biblical Counseling is using God’s Word (the Bible) as the foundational manual from which to answer every question and concern in a Christian’s life. It is discipleship and the process of growing in wisdom, understanding and application of the Word of God to our life. Whatever our situation is, God has provided an answer and remedy for us.

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. (II Peter 1:3-4 ESV)

Our knowledge of God and man comes directly from His Word and when we allow the Holy Spirit to indwell us, He gives us the power to become partakers of God’s nature over our sinful nature. As Christ pleased the Father, we may also as we desire to glorify God through our lives. In order to do this, we need to change our thoughts that are contrary to God’s Word. He helps us with this. God’s Word is capable of restructuring our thought patterns as we choose to renew our minds daily, desire to have the mind of Christ and walk in obedience to His teachings.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Rom 12:2 ESV)

Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Eph 4:23 ESV).

This means our thinking will change and become pleasing to God in accordance with His desires for us. He always has our best interests in mind and as we submit ourselves to His instruction a beautiful transformation occurs. This is where a biblical counselor is helpful in this process providing assignments that will help someone think in a healthy God-ordained way. The result we want to achieve is to THINK – DO – FEEL, in that order.

The process of change in us is made possible by Christ’s sacrifice for sin, the power of the Holy Spirit and God’s Word at work in our hearts. The threefold process is: we discard old patterns of ungodly behavior, reconstruct our thinking based upon God’s Word, and adopt new patterns of godly behavior.[1]

In summary, biblical counselors work with people to apply God’s Word as the solution to man’s fallen condition (Genesis 3). Our Creator knows us inside and out and offers us hope in any situation.

Credit: Much of the information I am sharing here comes from my studies in the book: [1] Curing the Heart by Howard Eyrich and William Hines 2002.

Resources: Insightful Testimony (11 min.) by Heath Lambert of childhood abuse he suffered and God’s redemptive work in his life; Heath is the Director of ACBC (Association of Certified Biblical Counselors). Discussion on “Differences and Overlap of Biblical Counseling and Clinical Therapy” (80 min.) by Heath Lambert.

For additional Resources Tab here

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